I aint a playa...I jus crush a lot

2003-07-04T00:02:00.000-07:00

~~HOPE~~ In all things it is better to hope than to despair.
{hope to be givin a second chance...}
Evanescence - Bring Me To Life
now that I know what Im without
you cant just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life
frozen inside without your touch
without your love,darling
only you are the life among the dead

LiL prechuz wuN: i think he's a jerk to0
LiL prechuz wuN: dont even have ta think..cuz he is wun.
RM05: so u don't like/love/miss him anymore
LiL prechuz wuN: of korse i do
LiL prechuz wuN: he's mah furst bf
RM05: for real
RM05: that's cute
LiL prechuz wuN: i mean i go thru a lotta shiet wit him n put up wit so0o much crap..but i mean yea i still care
RM05: I thot u had more since u are so
RM05: forget it
RM05: yea cause u are sweet
RM05: kind
RM05: cute
RM05: and u know
LiL prechuz wuN: shoot wen i broke up wit mah ex i didnt flirt wit no other guy..i didnt even date any other guys n its been 4 months..i didnt date no other
LiL prechuz wuN: dis annoying dude ask me n I sed 'sorrie im not over mah ex’
RM05: so if someone asked u out around this time u would say no
LiL prechuz wuN: no
LiL prechuz wuN: i'd say
LiL prechuz wuN: "sorrie im not over my ex.."
LiL prechuz wuN: i wouldnt juss say NO.cuz i dont lyke hurting ppl
RM05: damn that's loyal
RM05: that's tha first time I have seen that in a girl
RM05: damn wish u were over your ex
LiL prechuz wuN: aww
RM05: hopefully its not still hurting u
RM05: I guess u have to replace him
RM05: he isn't the only sweet guy out there
RM05: how else will u
RM05: u just won't
RM05: that's unless you are willing to get over him
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LiL prechuz wuN: i wanna see 28 days later
padresbb1: that looks scary
padresbb1: mabey we will go somtime
LiL prechuz wuN: u got game?
padresbb1: ok ill try to come up on some money
padresbb1: i dont know if i got a game
LiL prechuz wuN: u want to be seen with me?
padresbb1: i thought asians only liked other asians
padresbb1: yea
padresbb1: of course
LiL prechuz wuN: most of dem r lyke dat
LiL prechuz wuN: but im not most
padresbb1: yep
LiL prechuz wuN: im jus 'lily'
padresbb1: lol
padresbb1: but what if i like lily

Geez..I looooo0ve mah Frenz.Where would I be without dem?

2003-07-03T17:43:00.000-07:00

Dis is so0o koo ---> http://x.creativeinsanities.com/wish.html
ish so0o true.It worked for me ;)

lo0okiez da results
Admit it you're hot for Jon
You actually like Steven but theres just no spark or whatever
You care a lot about Albert
Ron knows you better than you know yourself
Josh is your lucky star

the song I miss you by Aaliah reminds you of/or describes your relationship with Jon
Why by 98 Degrees is the song for Ron

so0 true.Everything.awwww.Isnt dat kyute =)

2003-06-29T23:42:00.000-07:00

LiLprechuzwuN: i wanna go to a baseball game wun day
LiLprechuzwuN: will u take me out to da ball game?
padresbb1: yea
padresbb1: padres?
LiLprechuzwuN: shure i luv da padres =)
padresbb1: cool
padresbb1: then ill take you before the summer is over
LiLprechuzwuN: koo:-)

koo I'm goin to mah very furst baseball game with mah beSt friend =)

2003-06-29T23:40:00.000-07:00

WhiteMex6: i was going to come see you today
WhiteMex6: so you can see my ugly ass
LiLprechuzwuN: aww
LiLprechuzwuN: yer not ugly
LiLprechuzwuN: y0uuuR sexXxiE
LiLprechuzwuN: :-D
LiLprechuzwuN: in da red lace
WhiteMex6: lol
WhiteMex6: nope
WhiteMex6: i was mad when she moved me
LiLprechuzwuN: aww
LiLprechuzwuN: hehe why?
LiLprechuzwuN: you miss ricky?
WhiteMex6: thats it
WhiteMex6: lol
LiLprechuzwuN: or chris?
WhiteMex6: no caise she moved me away from a beautiful asian girl
LiLprechuzwuN: lol
LiLprechuzwuN: hmmm i wunder wh0..
WhiteMex6: me too
WhiteMex6: i forgot her name
WhiteMex6: or do angels have names
LiLprechuzwuN: lol
LiLprechuzwuN: awww
WhiteMex6: im gonna come over
WhiteMex6: ok
WhiteMex6: and spend the night :-)
LiLprechuzwuN: lol
LiLprechuzwuN: shure shure
LiLprechuzwuN: y0u wanna sleep on da floor?
WhiteMex6: i sleepin the closet
LiLprechuzwuN: wow
LiLprechuzwuN: how comfy
WhiteMex6: or you can sleep in the closet and ill take the bed
LiLprechuzwuN: lol da hell y0u gettin mah bed!
WhiteMex6: we can share
LiLprechuzwuN: unless..
LiLprechuzwuN: u wanna share
LiLprechuzwuN: lol
WhiteMex6: :-)
LiLprechuzwuN: aight den
LiLprechuzwuN: share.
LiLprechuzwuN: as long as y0u dont snore so loud
WhiteMex6: lol
WhiteMex6: i dont snore
LiLprechuzwuN: u probly snore lyke a pig
WhiteMex6: nope
LiLprechuzwuN: Rons SnoRes a lot.
WhiteMex6: lol
WhiteMex6: mabey
WhiteMex6: would you kick me out?
LiLprechuzwuN: no i wont kicc y0u out
LiLprechuzwuN: but i'll kicc you to da floor
WhiteMex6: lol
WhiteMex6: who says we're going to sleep anyways
LiLprechuzwuN: lol
LiLprechuzwuN: y0u did!
WhiteMex6: did I
WhiteMex6: thats just what i call it
WhiteMex6: yea but who said anything about sleeping
WhiteMex6: ;-)
LiLprechuzwuN: o0ooh
LiLprechuzwuN: bad.
WhiteMex6: i am
WhiteMex6: bad ron
LiLprechuzwuN: imma spank y0u
LiLprechuzwuN: bad RON!!
WhiteMex6: you going to spank me i might like that though
LiLprechuzwuN: lol
LiLprechuzwuN: muahz
WhiteMex6: muah

awwww.
Ron sn0res a lot! Believe me I know ;)

2003-06-28T23:53:00.000-07:00

t0day in da aftern00n I went wid CeCe and Tia to meet up wit CeCe's BF at da mall.We got dere at exactly n00n.we waited 3 fawkin h0urs for his ass.Dayam...n he jus keeps bailing out on his grl to0.He gets me mad! keep leeving her 6 tymes and sayin 'brb' everytyme.I was lyke grrr.N den wen we awl got up to da box office..we awl been planning ta see 28 days later...but den mr Darrell freakin forgot his ID!so0 we ended up watchin The Hulk.aww it was s0 g00d. I CRIED!!Bruce is so0o kyute!And so0 is the Hulk =D
Ish so sad wen she sits dere holding him and crying =( GosSh Bruce ish a hottie =P Ayyye isnt Bruce also da name of Batman?..hahah Bruce Wayne! I saw a lota pplz I know around.I saw David to0 =/ I saw Josh Yockey wit Josh and Brian.Dayam Yockey..dat fo0 fuckin luvs ta shop at FootLocker..I see dat bag everytyme I see his ass at da mall.o0oh i was lyke "dayam Yockey..biG box y0u got dere..hmm..wut size?"
he sez "14 even" o0o0ooh =D
But chea anyways we awl left da mall at 8ish.After dat I came home and changed den waited fer Patrick ta picc me up..party up in mira mesa at Richard's crib =) I went 0ut ta get drunk tonite..fuck dat shit.Wanna get muh mind 0ff of h i m.Juss fer 0ne nite.Dont wanna stress bout it.Fucc dammit..I miss him s0 fuckin much.And he wants me 0ut of his Life.And itz killin me inside s0 baD.I LOVE Y0U.I onlee see y0u in my dreams mahn! I onlee hope to dream forever.I miss and love y0u babe.

2003-06-26T00:14:00.000-07:00

Latif - I dont want to hurt you
its better right now than any later
trust me, I've had a broken heart before
I know jus how it feels
and know in time it will..
in time it will reveal, if our love is real

mahn i dont know what da fuck to do anymore.c0me on Lily...STOP TRYING so freakin hard.It dont matter to him..itz lyke a shrug* "oh i dont care.." geez..it was never meant to be.cuz den things wouldnt have been dis way.Jus do it Lily - start letting g0,TRY to move on.Itz lyke Frankie J sez 'Dont Wanna Try' cuz awl we is hurt our love.Been a tough road..jus let it g0 Lily..yenn0 y0u deserve better.why y0u jus keep trying n trying wen nuttin is guna be right.Let Him be happie.Cuz it jus aint wit y0u... Shiet! how can u jus LOVE sumb0dy so0o so0o much..u gave dem ur whole damn heart.
I didnt know loving y0u would hurt.Deep in mah heart I wanna move on...but n0 wun will ever ever love him da way I do.Cuz I care more than anything.
I'll never love another for da rest of mah Life.

2003-06-24T23:42:00.000-07:00

xbAbEeSwTpAtx: he doesnt want to see it
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: lily!
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: u gotta let go
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: u are TRYING WaY TOO MUCH
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: fUCk daT BULL SHIT
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: u still believe him?
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: gosh..
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: dont be stoopid
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: he is foolin u around
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: dere is nothing between u guys anymore
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: accept dat
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: deal wit it
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: face wit it
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: let it go
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: nONE
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: period !

..SIGH..

2003-06-24T22:58:00.000-07:00

y0u know I'd fight for you but how could I fight someone who isnt even there

baby its killin me, and its killin y0u...both of us tryin to be strong. Its the hardest thing I'll ever have to do, to look you in the eye and tell you I dont love you. Its the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie..to show no emotion wen you start to cry. I cant let y0u see wut y0u mean to me wen my hands are tied and my heart's not free. we're not meant to be. Its the hardest thing I'll ever have to do..to turn around and walk away..pretending I dont love you. I know that we'll meet agen.Fate has a place, so you can get on with your life. I've got to be cruel to be kind. y0u and I could lose it all if you've got no more room nowhere inside for me in y0ur Life.

I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you I dont care if that's not fair

2003-06-23T22:24:00.000-07:00

I really want to know what we did wrong with a love that felt so strong

sittin here alone up in my room.thinkin bout da times dat we've been thru.I'm lukkin @ a picture in my hand, tryin mah best to understand..I reely want to know wut we did wrong with a love dat felt so strong.If onlee y0u were here tonight..I know dat we could make it right.I dont know how to live without y0ur love..I was born to make y0u happy.
cuz y0u're da onlee one within mah heart.alwaise and forever y0u aNd mE...dats da way our Life should be.I know I've been a fool since y0u've been gone.I'd better give it up and carry on.cuz living in a dream of y0u and me.. is not da way mah life should be.I dont want to cry a tear for y0u, so forgive me if I do.I'd do anything, I'd give y0u my world.
I'd wait forever, to be y0ur girl.juSs call out my name, and I will be dere juSs to show y0u how much I care.

110802

2003-06-23T21:57:00.000-07:00

P.O.D - Alive
everyday is a new day
I’m thankful for every breath I take
I wont take it for granted
so I learn from my mistakes
its beyond my control, sometimes its best to let go
whatever happens in this lifetime
so I trust in love
you have given me peace of mind

note: I LOVE YOU JESUS! =)

ish mah furst day on mah furst job.I was late! lyke onlee 6 minutes late =/ Cuz couldnt find da damn place..ish in cardinal ryte..but den i don remember wich cardinal.cuz dere ish cardinal center,cardinal road,cardinal lane,cardinal street.I was lyke 'ugh' s0 it was at cardinal RD.I got in dere and dunno where ta g0...and dis man was lyke 'can i help y0u? =D' I was lyke 'yea..I'm supoz ta be workin here today, itz mah furst job =)' He was lyke 'excellent...R y0u Lily??' I was lyke 'yes =D' Den he takes me to mah supervis0r and mah co-workers Eduardo, Arthur, Albert, Oscar and Frank...were already in dere awl dressed up lyke handsom gentlemen =) I can tell dey try hard not to laugh cuz i arrive late n shiet..Wutever Furst day on my Furst job..cant be perfect 0kkkkay.
Albert was lyke 'late on da furst day?' I'm lyke 'shaddup' Wen mah supervis0r saw me walk in with Tim (da man who took me dere), she sez '0oh Hi =D y0u mus be LiLy' hahah.lyke geeez ppl...let ME intr0duce mahself.It wasnt bad at awl for da furst day.We awl jus kept very very busy every minute.We awl had a tour around da Media Center and met a lot of other employees.Albert wont stop Bo0ty BuMpiN meh every tyme we took da tour! geez I mus be veRy bo0ty bumpabLe =D.I'm da onlee young gurl wh0s works dere =D I didnt bring food or money for lunch..0scar hooked me up widda 5.YuPP he did! haha i did not ask! not bad...we get along da furst day =) ko0.Lunch was onlee 30 minutes but it was fun hanging out in dat lounge wit dem guys..it got a TV, vending machines,couch,sink..lol a lotta kicc back stuff.Feels pR0fessionaL.

2003-06-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

xbAbEeSwTpAtx: welpz lily
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: i think
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: maybe he is lettin go
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: and u still holding on
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: and trying maybe too hard
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: dats why
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: he jes dont wanna see ... it anymore
LiLprechuzwuN: blah
LiLprechuzwuN: i guess

no matter how hard I try.it aint guna matter to y0u.
maybe i should jus give up now...cuz i know y0u have.y0u hurt me so0o damn much.never felt dis much pain.I know I hurt y0u to0.I'm sorrie.Sorrie for saying 'yes' in da furst place wen you asked me out.I wanted to be with y0u.I loved y0u.I cared s0 much.But y0u had to go... now jus g0 and move on with your litto life.I hope y0ur having fun without me.
I hope your happy.

2003-06-22T00:45:00.000-07:00

padresbb1: i have to go dearest
padresbb1: ill talk to you later
LiLprechuzwuN: k
padresbb1: much luv to you
LiLprechuzwuN: u to0
LiLprechuzwuN: MUAHZ
LiLprechuzwuN: lader
padresbb1: oh yea
padresbb1: i got a virtual kiss
LiLprechuzwuN: hahah
padresbb1: *MUAH*

I member I was watchin Passions yesturday =) It was da sweetest epis0de! Fox was talkin to Whitney and Chad about 'True Love' dat if itz meant to be..da pers0n y0u love will come bacc to y0u..and y0u both get to be 2gether agen.And wen Fox left, Whitney and Chad were lone 2gether talkin bout wut Fox jus sed.
Whitney:"I wunder if itz true...wut Fox sed about True Love, if it reely doez exist.Dat 2 people can be s0 much in love, and even if dey began to seperate and be apart from each other..eventually dey'll find dere way bacc to each other.Dey can go on seeing many other people for years..but in da end dey realize dat dey reely need each other...and its 'Love' dat brought dem back 2gether agen.'True Love' finds dem."

YeA I memorize her lines.hahah.Its s0o0 kyute tho.
I dont believe in 'true love' .Never Did.But its beginning to give me an indication.

2003-06-21T16:35:00.000-07:00

LaSt NigHts' Conv0 =D

padresbb1: hey you!!!
LiLprechuzwuN: hey y0oh!!
LiLprechuzwuN: whassssup?
padresbb1: not much you?
LiLprechuzwuN: nm jus summer skoo
padresbb1: yeah?
LiLprechuzwuN: i start work on monday!
padresbb1: what class?
LiLprechuzwuN: mah furst job = )
LiLprechuzwuN: business environments n english
padresbb1: do you have AIM
LiLprechuzwuN: yeash yeash
padresbb1: then how come i cant connect with you?
LiLprechuzwuN: i dunno
LiLprechuzwuN: try agen = )
padresbb1: it says you software cant do it
padresbb1: you try
LiLprechuzwuN wants to directly connect.
padresbb1 has not responded; no connection was made. (If you and your buddy are each behind a different firewall, then the connection will not work; check with your network administrator if you are not sure about your firewall status.).
LiLprechuzwuN: BLAH . .
LiLprechuzwuN: wut jus happen
padresbb1: errrr
padresbb1: i was going to send you some pics i took today
padresbb1: but oh well
LiLprechuzwuN: i wanna c !
LiLprechuzwuN: aye send it to mah email
padresbb1: ok
padresbb1: what is it?
LiLprechuzwuN: preciouslilazn@yahoo.com
padresbb1: ok im going to send it from my friends email ok
LiLprechuzwuN: okie dokie
padresbb1: sent
LiLprechuzwuN: ko0
LiLprechuzwuN: aww..
LiLprechuzwuN: whos dat hottie in da red lace?
padresbb1: lol
padresbb1: me
LiLprechuzwuN: he's so0o sexXie :-)
padresbb1: lol
padresbb1: not really
LiLprechuzwuN: no reeLy
LiLprechuzwuN: y0u kn0 he is
padresbb1: nope
padresbb1: he is muy feo
LiLprechuzwuN: lol
LiLprechuzwuN: el es muy muy muy guapo
LiLprechuzwuN: y muy bonito
LiLprechuzwuN: y muy muy sexioso
padresbb1: lol
padresbb1: nope
LiLprechuzwuN: okay i dunno how to say sexie
LiLprechuzwuN: but yea
LiLprechuzwuN: sexi0s0 = )
padresbb1: lol
padresbb1: im not sexy
LiLprechuzwuN: okay ur not sexy
LiLprechuzwuN: ur veRy sexy
LiLprechuzwuN: 'VeRy' . . . w/da red lace
padresbb1: lol
padresbb1: not really i just thought it would be funny
padresbb1: to see my ugly ass in sexy red lace
LiLprechuzwuN: tu es muy guapo y sexie = )
LiLprechuzwuN: s0o0 how come ur up awl late huh?
LiLprechuzwuN: isnt it way pass ur bed time.
padresbb1: lol
padresbb1: im always up late
padresbb1: what are you doing tomorrow?
LiLprechuzwuN: ummm...i0n0 yet
LiLprechuzwuN: LiLprechuzwuN: Ron left me =/
LiLprechuzwuN: LiLprechuzwuN: cuz he dont wanna talk to me no more
padresbb1: no i love you
LiLprechuzwuN: no Ron hates me
LiLprechuzwuN: y0u were mad at me dis wun tyme n sed 'i hate you!'
LiLprechuzwuN: Ron: yenn0 wut Lolita, I hate you!
Me: yenn0 wut I hate y0u to0!
Ricky: *laughs out very loud*
LiLprechuzwuN: see..
LiLprechuzwuN: i remembered dat!
padresbb1: lol
padresbb1: I love you
LiLprechuzwuN: aye i saw ur picture
LiLprechuzwuN: 2 of dem = )
LiLprechuzwuN: in construction academy
padresbb1: lol
LiLprechuzwuN: yupp..niCe
padresbb1: i hate this fucking comp
LiLprechuzwuN: damnit
LiLprechuzwuN: y u keep leevin me??
padresbb1: i know
LiLprechuzwuN: i feel so0o loved.
LiLprechuzwuN: get a new computer :-)
padresbb1: its not mind
padresbb1: mine
padresbb1: its my friends
LiLprechuzwuN: 0o0h
LiLprechuzwuN: r u at ur frenz house er sumpthin?
padresbb1: yea
padresbb1: hey baby doll
padresbb1: i have to go
padresbb1: i wanna come see you soon
padresbb1: ok
padresbb1: much love to you
padresbb1: goodnight
padresbb1 signed off at 1:08:25 AM.

Lookies ---> padresbb1: errrr

hahaH daMn...why everyb0dy starts typing Errrrr now huh??
sho0 yaLL got it from me..I'm da wun dat started dat shiet
awL from LiLy =)
and Psssh to0...
i jus lyke typing sounds expressions =D

2003-06-20T22:51:00.000-07:00

Yesturday Ron surprized me after sk0o N gabe me a card! AwwW..dats da sweetest thing =D It sez
''starlight the night...waves on the ocean...love in childrens' hearts...me there for you"
AwwW so kyute.N on da cover it sez 'BeSt Frenz Alwayz' =) N his onlee handwriting on da inside wit dat quote ish
'Lily...Best Frenz till we Die!' awwwWw =D

2003-06-20T21:54:00.000-07:00

ish da last day of da wun week orientati0n! Hell yeA..imma start working on Monday.
Mah furst job! I been takin dis class at Kearny for summer skoo, I'm takin business environments.So by da end of dis summer imma make $810!! Wo0Ho0 =D Derz 120 hours total in da 6 weeks I'm working n each hour I get paid $6.75. Dats hella G00D =) I found out where imma be working at, wich ish @ SDCS Instructional Media Center.
Sh0o I got da skills..frum Jeff =) (who took media n video productions for 2 yrz).Imma be working wit Albert Roman Orozco, Frank Piza, Eduardo Carranza, Arthur Wilborn and Oscar Alvarado.(I dunno y i jus sed dere full namez).Yup dey R mah co-workers. Mr.Thompson sed dat I'm da LeAdER!! Our group ish da ShiZz0! I'm da onlee Girl. DaRn..tuff.I like mah work place n I like awl mah co-workers.Luckily dey awl R mah frenz..cuz i dun wanna take it w/ppl i dunno.But sho0..Oscar! ...Errr..well I'll try not to be a bitch as long as he wont be a dick.We dont get along..=/ Dude I didnt even know where mah work place is untill Glenn told me.. 'hahah ur guna be working at Hillcrest' =/ He gave me an advice to0 'DONT make eye contact' haha okay Glenn No Eye Contacts. Sho0 dat be funny if a lesbian pass by n made eye contact w/me =X ..actually dat wouldnt be funny it be hella skary! Dammit Glenn guna be working at Boys and Girls Club.I wanted him ta work wit me.Heeey Oh welps me got Albert N Frank =D. Arthur N Eduardo =) Oscar is jus BLAAAH.Dayam dis work shiet ish very serious n important.For da past week I keep gettin in trouble cuz I cant fuckin be serious.I mean come on me..Lily..seri0us?? HeLL naw..kant even make a joke in dere.Jus cuz I make everywun laugh a lot.GEEEZ.Mr.Thompson was lyke 'oh you'll think itz funnie now but in da work place it wont be' =/ N plus we awl been dressing up awl nice n shiet everyday.Guys were collar shirtz w/ties n nice pants. Girls wear nice dresses n skirts n shiet.But I'm da onlee girl dat ever dress UP!! Even tho i fuckin hate it.Mr.thompson dont wanna see Jeans or anything blue!Der onlee lyke 4 grls anyways...n lyke 25 boys.wen I dress up widda skirt n white blouse, Glenn n Geovoni would always holla..n be lyke 'ooo00oh =P' .I'm lyke errrr. Everyb0dy around sk0o would alwayz lukk n stare at me n da peepz takin business environments..b/c we dress up awl professional everyday.0oh well sho0..wh0s da wun gettin paid?? ..Exactly...hahaH SuCkERz! =P Dey jus repeat regular classes at Kearny.Muhahaha LoSeRz.
Wen James asked Nhi n I 'wh0 d0 y0u guys think will get Fired furst?' N I sed 'ME...ish g0n be me' Nhi agreed.cuz sh0o I cant follow awl dis shiet
1.be seri0us
2.be mature(no funnie jokes)
3.ALWAYS be prepared =/
4.dress up (no problem!) (altho i hate dressin up =/ )
5.Keep cell phone 0FF or on Vibrate..=/
6.no attitude towards co-workers n your employees =/ =/ =/ (das g0n be reely hard!)
cuz sh0o I cant even stand Mr.Thompson sumtymez..N everywun knowz me as da person who ALWAYS stand up for mahself.I'll be a bitch if y0ur dick yenn0.Cuz dis week I been arguing wit da teacher a lot n he sez 'hopefully y0u wont do dis around da work area!'

2003-06-19T23:12:00.000-07:00

Every Wun wants to see me ovah da summer =D

Eric came ovah to Adam's house...dey were jus chillen on da front lawn.I went to get sumpthin outta da car n I see Eric n he yelled 'LILY!!!'
"I didnt know y0u live here..." I was awl smiling big =D Den I jus went to chill n kicc it w/dem cuz I was b0red n e wayz.

2003-06-17T23:01:00.000-07:00

member dis??

padresbb1: sorry i was on the phone
Auto response from LiLprechuzwuN: away fuuucker...
LiLprechuzwuN: oh
padresbb1: oh
padresbb1: lol
LiLprechuzwuN: haha
LiLprechuzwuN: so whassup duude?
padresbb1: not much
padresbb1: you?
padresbb1: summer time hell yea!!!! :-)
LiLprechuzwuN: hell yea =)
LiLprechuzwuN: nm
LiLprechuzwuN: wut chu doin ovah da summer?
padresbb1: i dunno yet
padresbb1: do you live in LV?
LiLprechuzwuN: yea
LiLprechuzwuN: yer guna come visit me ryyte?
padresbb1: yea
padresbb1: thats why i asked
padresbb1: what part of LV
padresbb1: by McDonlads?
padresbb1: Vien Dong
LiLprechuzwuN: by montgomery
padresbb1: oh cool
padresbb1: by the LV rec
padresbb1: ?
padresbb1: thats like 5 minuets from me
LiLprechuzwuN: yep its kinda by da LV rec
padresbb1: cool
LiLprechuzwuN: where do U live?
padresbb1: you know where Jack in the box is
padresbb1: ?
padresbb1: well i live down the road from there
LiLprechuzwuN: oh koo
LiLprechuzwuN: i didnt kno u were 4rm LV. . . i thot u live round' taft
padresbb1: so seriousely i want to come and visit you this summer
padresbb1: nope LV
LiLprechuzwuN: awww
LiLprechuzwuN: shure shure
padresbb1: you dont belive me?
LiLprechuzwuN: u do tho?
LiLprechuzwuN: seriously?
padresbb1: live in LV?
padresbb1: or want to see you?
LiLprechuzwuN: want to see me
padresbb1: yea
padresbb1: of course
padresbb1: why wouldnt i want to
LiLprechuzwuN: hahah
LiLprechuzwuN: awww
padresbb1: you dont want me to come do you
LiLprechuzwuN: ur welcome anytime ron
LiLprechuzwuN: nvr sed dat..
padresbb1: ok
padresbb1: so you wouldnt mind if i came?
LiLprechuzwuN: nope wouldnt mine
padresbb1: ok
LiLprechuzwuN: y wouldnt i want ron to come over n visit me

last summer now dis summer to0 =)

{Christina Aguilera - come on over}

2003-06-16T23:28:00.000-07:00

Lil Suzy - the way i love you

Wen you're in love y duhz it seem dat ppl alwaise have sumthin tuh say?Well I've had enuf.I'm livin mah dream n no wunz guna take dat frum me.Dey kan say wut dey want tuh say but dey dont see y0u lyke I do.Dey think itz krazie tuh feel dis way.But I dont mind, itz jus a waste of tyme.Dey kant change da way I love you.You'll be da wun my whole lyfe thru, derez nuttin dey kan say or do tuh change da way I love y0u.Tyme afta tyme, agen n agen, they're tellin me da way it should be.Sumtymez it seemz,dat even my frenz,dey jus dont want tuh see me happie.

2003-06-14T17:53:00.000-07:00

Y dont I lyke da gurl I see? Da wun whos standin ryte in front of me.
y dont I think befor I speek? I should have listened to dat voice inside me.
I mus be stupid, mus be crazy, mus be out of my mind to say da kind of thingz I sed.
mirror mirror hangin on da wall,u dont have to tell me whos da biggest fool of awl.
mirror mirror I wish u could lie to me n bring my babee bacc, bring my babee bacc to me.mirror mirror lie to me,show me wut I wanna see.y did I let y0u walk away?
wen awl I had to do was say "I'm sorry." I let my pride get in da way n in da heat of da moment I was to blame.I mus be stupid, mus be crazy, mus be out of my mind,
now in da cold light of da day I realize..
if onlee wishes could be dreams n kno my dreams could come true,dere would be two us standin here in front of you.if you could show me dat sumwun dat I used to be..
bring bacc my babee, my babee to me

{M2M - mirror mirror}

2003-06-14T01:10:00.000-07:00

theres someone in love with you, you know
jus dont wanna let their feelings show
becuz they're not sure dat you could ever feel da same
but now she would lyke to take da chance
and hope dat you both will find romance
in case you are willing
theres something I'd like you to know
Ron if ever you call me
I'm there for you boy right or wrong
I'm telling you now Ron
If ever you need me
I promise you I give you my all
someone who will love and sacrifice
who knows wut it means to treat you right
someone who wont change her mind
but always feel da same
she wants you to open up your heart
and hopes dat true love might one day start
Boy if you are willing
theres something I'd like you to know baby
darling heres my heart
pleez take care my darling dear
cuz I,
I do,
Love you,
Its true
and I hope dat you are willing Ron
to love me in return
and if you are I want you to know
..dat I'll always be dere for y0u

3rd storee - if ever

2003-06-12T22:07:00.000-07:00

padresbb1: much love to you

Much love to you to0 RON!!!! MUAHZ =P

=)

=D

2003-06-12T19:06:00.000-07:00

XStarlitPrincess: did ron im you yet?
LiLprechuzwuN: no
XStarlitPrincess: ok
XStarlitPrincess: he im me
XStarlitPrincess: =D
LiLprechuzwuN: well dats cuz he got ur sn
LiLprechuzwuN: duh
XStarlitPrincess: shutup XP
LiLprechuzwuN: y u steeling my man huh?
XStarlitPrincess: lol
XStarlitPrincess: yea
XStarlitPrincess: mine!!
LiLprechuzwuN: he's mine !
XStarlitPrincess: MIne!!!!!!!
LiLprechuzwuN: Bitch he's mine!!
XStarlitPrincess: lol
XStarlitPrincess: no
LiLprechuzwuN: sho0o. . .
LiLprechuzwuN: i hate y0u
LiLprechuzwuN: Ron is mine
XStarlitPrincess: love you more
XStarlitPrincess: MINE
XStarlitPrincess: MINE
MINE!!!!!
LiLprechuzwuN: he's mine bitch!
XStarlitPrincess: no!!
LiLprechuzwuN: YES
LiLprechuzwuN: yea . . . dats wut i thot!
XStarlitPrincess: lol

2003-06-11T21:49:00.000-07:00
Ashley Ballard - It was you
when I think of what I've been through
I can see that you've always been there for me
to tell the truth dont know what I'd do
without you half of my dreams would not come true
It was you who showed me I had a friend in you
I always knew that you'd be right here for me
and it was you who stayed with me
when the skies werent blue
and it was you who stayed by my side
It was you
since the day you came in my life
I knew then that you'd be someone right by my side
then you prove your a friend to me
In my heart, where ever, you will always be

Finally went to return our books in first period.Damn now mah backpach ish awl light..I habe nuttin in dere =) I was chillen wit Ivan N Monet in da library.mahn Ivan starts smokin agen..blah..BaD! He sed he reely miss it.Ron sat on my lap =D Geez..I'm supoz to be sittin on his lap =P !Bo0oty! N E wayz..in 2nd period...Steven actually comes up and talks to me.Wow..how long has it been? ..iono but az long az we start talkin agen.I asked him
'R U still goin out wit dat wun grl?' He sez 'yea....but I dont even lyke her' den I sed 'o0h..y0u jus wanna Hit?' n den he jus smiles big n sez 'yea.' BLAH..n0w dat is HoRRibLe.. Welps..Jeff n I start talkin agen now =) Well I mean shiet yenno since skoo's almost over.. cuz wen I left Teng n Pat..Jeff came up and walk wit me da whole way to class n we talked =D His class is ri0te by mine anyways..since he got video production.At lunch, I was wit Josh.At first I think he was mad at me cuz he saw me n he sed 'damn Lily cant even say Hi no more' I was lyke 'o0h hey' =D I saw Ron...he smiles at me a lot N was bout ta come up to me but den I jus walk away wit Josh =/ Damn I'm falling for mah friend =/ But yenno..it does starts to happen to ppl.I mean a grl needs a guy to be dere for her 24/7.N Ron jus fits dat for me.damn its lyke almost da end of skoo..i so0 hate dis! Its hard cuz he gotta grl..n y0u jus know how dey feel for dat person.y0u should want your friend to be happie ri0te? Dats wut I gotta do.. as much as I want to tell him how I feel.. I jus always end up hesitant =/ Regardless of da fact dat Ron has a GF...I know dat he cares bout' me to0.Cuz he sed if he never went out wit her den we would definately be together.I aint guna forget awl da memories n times we spent together as best friends.

...you are the one that I have hoped for
now my life means so much more
now we can be together Forever
just you and me
there for each other
It was you who was always right by my side
when I just cant do it
you helped me through it
we're friends forever like best friends should be
you'll always be a special part of me

2003-06-10T20:19:00.000-07:00
Justin Timberlake - still on my brain
it feels like it hasnt been that long
since you walked away from me
now I can try to act real strong
but you and I both know I still think of you that way
you should know that..
the beautiful lights the star filled nights
they dont mean a thing
cuz you were my star and so it dont seem right
without you here with me
now I can try to act real strong
but you and I both know its hard for me to say
you were my soul..
now I could say that I dont love you no more
and I could say that I’ve closed the door for our love
and I can tell you I feel It’s time for us to go our separate ways
but baby I just wouldn’t be the same
cuz your love is still on my brain
now when your in love it takes time to heal
when someone’s broken your heart and changes how you feel
I thought that you’d never do me that way

I have a very bad headache today...awl day =/ !hay caramba! dammit Mr Oberle ish bacc today.Dat fuckin suxs duude.
Today's Sandra's last day =( Imma miss her..mah older sista.I'll be dere at her graduation on friday =) I'll be dere wit a bouquet of flowers n mah loud voice cheering for her! 3rd period was supoz ta be a chillaxin day..but Mr fuckin Oberle keeps makin us work n shiet.Lyke dammit we gots 3 days left, we been working hard awl freakin term.He saw me, Anthony,Nikki, Andrew n Bao jus sittin down talkin..n he got reely mad.I got up n I was lyke 'WuT A DiCk!' hahah..Anthony was awl crackin up.WeLL shiEt..he is tho...i been wanting to say dat awl semester =D .BUTTHO.!!! Lunch fuckin suxs mahn..mah frenz keep fuckin ditching me...shit.Since dey awl got BFs now..dey jus go BLaH.
Ron blew me un beso in class =D MuAhz to y0u to0 babee =)
damn I wish Ron woulda won for duke.He woulda deserve it to0!
Today I actually thot a lot bout' him.........I think I like Ron =/

XStarlitPrincess: lily..
XStarlitPrincess: don't start acting like you like him now
LiLprechuzwuN: =/

2003-06-09T22:39:00.000-07:00
XStarlitPrincess: hell no
XStarlitPrincess: you really want your ass that red huh!?!
LiLprechuzwuN: oooh yea =D
LiLprechuzwuN: not by u tho hahaha
LiLprechuzwuN: jk
LiLprechuzwuN: i lyke mah ass da way it is mam thank you
XStarlitPrincess: Imma resite a poem to you
XStarlitPrincess: I once knew a girl name lily
XStarlitPrincess: for some damn reason she smelled like a pita
XStarlitPrincess: lol
XStarlitPrincess: the end
LiLprechuzwuN: lmfao
XStarlitPrincess: lol
LiLprechuzwuN: dat is soOOOOO funnie
XStarlitPrincess: lol
XStarlitPrincess: I know
XStarlitPrincess: shit I'm so good
LiLprechuzwuN: wow im laughin reely hard on da ground
LiLprechuzwuN: NOT
XStarlitPrincess: lol
XStarlitPrincess: kiss my hairy fat ass
LiLprechuzwuN: no thank you i rather kiss Ron's hairy white ass =D
XStarlitPrincess: oh yea let me help too
LiLprechuzwuN: NO
LiLprechuzwuN: bitch!
LiLprechuzwuN: back off!
XStarlitPrincess: lol
LiLprechuzwuN: he's mine!
XStarlitPrincess: hell no
LiLprechuzwuN: mine
XStarlitPrincess: he's mine
LiLprechuzwuN: mine
XStarlitPrincess: fuck
XStarlitPrincess: gonna bring a belt
LiLprechuzwuN: mine mine mine mine mine
XStarlitPrincess: beat the shit out of you
LiLprechuzwuN: well imma bring mah bare hands n slap da hell outta y0u
LiLprechuzwuN: :-P
LiLprechuzwuN: so back off Ron's mine
XStarlitPrincess: you can try
XStarlitPrincess: lol hell no
LiLprechuzwuN: naw i dont have to try
LiLprechuzwuN: but u do...
LiLprechuzwuN: u needed a weapon jus to beat me
LiLprechuzwuN: muhaha
LiLprechuzwuN: gay
XStarlitPrincess: shut up
XStarlitPrincess: sit on you
LiLprechuzwuN: oooooo0h
LiLprechuzwuN: noOOO
LiLprechuzwuN: hungry hungry hippo guna sit on me
LiLprechuzwuN: ahhhh
XStarlitPrincess: oh hell no
LiLprechuzwuN: naw ish lyke genuwine sed ' Hell Yea'
LiLprechuzwuN: :-D

2003-06-09T21:39:00.000-07:00
En Vogue - dont let go
I know you think that if we move too soon it would all end
I live in misery when you're not around
and I wont be satisfied till we're taking those vows
whats it gonna be cuz I cant pretend
dont you want to be more than friends
hold me tight and dont let go
dont let go
you have the right to lose control
dont let go

I went to see Finding Nemo last nite wit Nhi, Terri, Edna and Boyd.We also watched Daddy Day Care after.It was stupid.But Finding Nemo was so0o0o kyute =D It was hilarious.So0 kyute! It totally roxs duuude! I didnt get home till 12:30 last nite..I had fun tho..
Duude..today me,Deve0n N Jimmy did so0o g00d on our 15 minutes drama skits for spanish.We s0 totally RoCk DuDe =D It was s0 hilarious wen Deve0n was up..he was being hella funny..I try so hard not to laugh myself.I did purdy g00d =D Teresa sed I should be in a damn soap opera N Ms Murrell sed I should join drama next year.YUP I aM =) Chris aCtUaLLy did veRy g00d on his skit to0...lyke duude..he fuckin sounds mexican.he did g00d..I was lyke 'wh0a...Jesus!!' Everywun was lyke 'wh0a duude'..haha whassup wit me n dat word "dude"? o0h yea I saw Andrew dis morning..he gave me an abraz0 wen we got in class..awww =) MUAHZ. 0oh DaMMit..RON no esta today =/ It was fuckin coLd! I needed his warmth... =/ In 2nd period we all went to da library to return our math books lyke around da last 30 minutes of class.I was wit Kim N Jenni, we jus chilled n talked.Kim asked me 'R U still goin out wit _ _ _ ?' I sed '..no..' N den she starts sayin "damn I swear he's a fuckin jerk..an asswhole..he doesnt deserve y0u..y0u deserve better..i swear he's a jackass..he goes out wit everybody..I hate him.." I was lyke 'dayammm..' hahaha She sed it awl fast n furious.She jus keeps goin n goin on talkin shit..n she made me laugh a lot..heeey duude..at least shes RIGHT! But chea...n e fuckin wayz, dammit wuddup wit da ma'fawker Steven?? FucK lyke..he was ryte by me da whole tyme in da library..never sed a word.Fuckin A! During passing period for 3rd period I walk wit Josh to his class...den I went back to RO to see if Ron came...but no0 duude he aint here at awl...sniffers.. But n e wayz..3rd period was a very chillaxin period..dont have to work no moR..duude Anthony reminds me s0 much of ....him... I'm lyke ahh =/
I was wit Frank at da career center..we gettin paid over da summer =D CHI CHING$$ ..ish part of summer skoo tho..lyke you go learn for 2 weeks den for da next 4 weeks you take da bus wit yer fellows to go places n do stuff n get paid =) At lunch, me N Vickie hang out wit da seni0r guyz =D !so0o totally HoT duude! At lunch, I didnt hang out at RO, I was wit Ivan,Brandon, Le0ra, Champa n Brandon E. But lader Ivan n Brandon left to RO i think.. DuuDe I reely missed
Brandon Evans..we jus cant stop hugging each other =D He such a kyutey...always been =D =D =D

2003-06-08T00:38:00.000-07:00
I cried my first tears of joy on November 8
heaven shined a light
and all my dreams came true
becuz it was my first night with you

one precious moment changed my life.one tender kiss made everything right.
one touch from you and dis world was mine.It was in your arms where I found forever.
one magic moment made one magic night.I fell in love with one look in your eyes.
baby I never knew I could feel so loved.darling, in your arms is where i wanna feel forever.

babee I miss y0u soooooooooooooo0 much!
why cant y0u jus see how much I need y0u in my life...

2003-06-05T20:53:00.000-07:00
Jennifer Love Hewitt - can i go now
we talk and talk
discuss for hours
about how it should be
why is it all me
dont wanna fight
dont wanna waste my time
baby just can't relax
I'm moving on
can I go now
say what you have to say
happy you've got your way
theres nothing to discuss
can I go now
giving your point of view
say what you want it too
so what's the point of love

t0day ish a g00d day.It started off bad n shit...but got better after 2nd period =) see dats y I gots g00d frenz ta lift me up.Thank You Ron!!
N everywun else to0 =D dammit Ivan ditched without meh! oh well derz onlee 6 days left of sko0 so y ditch.Well da reason y I'm so sad earlier was b/c of a lot of realizations.I feel lyke I lost everything.N feel so daMn aLoNe to0 =/.Ba0 sees me sad n she sez 'Lily stop...your hurting me..stop thinking about dem..dey're unworthy of you.' SigH... LiFe fuckin suxs.!Hay Caramba!
At lunch, the local band 0ne Last Chance came to perform..and dayamm da lead singer is fuckin HoT! Me n Elena was lyke 'dayaam he's fi0ne!' Nice voice to0 =P
Josh treat me with lunch.Thank You Sweetie! DaMn it fuckin cold today.VeRy VeRy.. BuRRR.N Ron not wearing warm cloth to0.p00r babee.He sed I have cold hands.I dont have cold hands..mah hands are nice n warm ..n he knows it.sho0o =P dammit..wen I was talkin to Brandon at lunch, Jeff keep lukkin at me awl envious.wutever he dont talk to me no more..so oh wellz.After skoo I came home..took care of babee Sharon till mommy comes n I go out to eat wit Nhi at jack in da box.We jus walk around...talked bout our shitty problems.We drop by Champa's house to chill n stuff.

2003-06-03T23:34:00.000-07:00
Usher - think of you
all the time I think of you
holding on to someone new
dont make me lose my mind
seems like I been here before
baby I can't take no more
of you trying to play me out baby
I feel so strange thinking about you
after all the wrong you've done to me
I cant go on feeling like I do
cause my heart loves you
I'm so confused
dont waste my time
cause someone like me you'll never find
I thought we had a good thing
but I was wrong and now I must move on

today sucks(to0)!BLAH.
I was early to 2nd peri0d today.Dats cuz I ran to class...wen I saw dat weird dude who lykes to stalk me.Seriously duude..he kept on lukkin at me..lyke about ta come up ta meh.So I freakin ran wen I saw him maHn.wen I got in class Mr.Torres was lyke 'wh0a dere slow down'.N Steven was awl starring at me.Wutever JeRk.0oh yea I saw him dis morning agen.I think he heard me kall him a bitch =/ cuz wen we walk pass by each other I sed 'bitch..' n he turned around to0.It jus slipped outta mah mouth =/ He cant even fuckin say hi no more.N E wayz..didnt wanna talk to him cuz I got dere around 7:26ish.Cuz wen I got out da car, Josh was yellin 'LiLy!!' and came to me to gimme a big ol hug.I ran to class on time =D.At lunch, I didnt hang out at RO cuz fuckin I'm scurred.I dont wanna see dat dude.So I stayed wit Brittney,Le0ra n Champa.Fuckin A...Steven's a jeRk! Br0ke mah lil heart maHn.Fuck! He got himself his 1st girlfriend..n I dont lyke her to0.bi0utch! ...lucky baStaRd! Lader I left da 3 of dem n hang out wit Ron. Ron sed 'I miss y0u lolita...n daMn Imma miss y0u over da summer to0!!' I sed 'aww Imma miss y0u to0 Ron, daMn I miss sittin next t0 y0u.' Den Ron sed 'i know...daMn i hate Jimmy!' (haha cuz Jimmy da guy I sit next to now).Me n Ron keep on holding hands wen we talk n always be hugging every tyme...i didnt tell him bout Steven tho =/ I jus didnt wanna talk bout dat butth0! Wen da bell rang for boring ass 4th period,Ron gives me a hug agen n sez 'I love y0u Lily' n I sed 'I love y0u Ron' bacc =)
After sko0 I went home for awhile n took care of mah babee Sharon till mah momma comes bacc frum work.I went over to Richard's house n kick it dere with Patrick,Trish,Ray and Cory! damn me n Cory talked a lot.I miss him.welps imma be honest.I drank a lot while I was ovah dere.Seriously mahn..after skoo I fuckin feel so fuckin emotional over him..and him.yupp..steven n jon.I had 5 alcohol beverages =/
Ish not dat bad I onlee had 2 smirnoffs,4 silver bacardi and 1 corona.I was fuckin hella emotional n mad.We awl watched 'The Ring' SCURRY.0rdered dominoes pizzas =D o0h i drank more...but ish sodas!! well wit a lotta caffiene---COKE.
well doz 2 boys R jus off happie wit dere lil gfs.why is it dat da guys i love gotta be takin by skanks? N E fuckin wayz..I came home at 10:30.Jus wen mah dad got home frum work to0.Mah mom was hella bitchin.She sed 'its 30 minutes pass yer curfew...blah blah blah...'were you with your Boyfriend?'
I was fuckin angry wit her n I sed 'WhAt BoYfRiEnD???' I jus walk to mah room n slam da door.Fuckin swear mah head fuckin hurts..fuckin dizzy . fuck.Its been very long since I been drinking...lyke 6 months ago.I'm baccc =/ I never tried sumpthin lyke dis..jus drink a lot to get away wit mah problems.It did make me feel better tho...a lil.It helped.

2003-06-02T23:20:00.000-07:00
Shai ft.Jay Z - I dont want to be alone
Its been so long since I've been without you
and I swear I hate living without you
tomorrow wont come if I spend a night without you
your the one for this love thing I'm feelin
and I cant fight this hurt dat I'm feelin
baby cant you see dis is destiny dat I'm feelin

daMn today aint a g00d day to start da week at sko0.VeRy BaD day today.Fuckin A! I wake up widda headache...and was hella very tired.Didnt get much sleep last nite.I saw Steven dis morning =) aww..he lukks s0o g00d =D I was so0 happie t0 see him...cuz I reely missed him over da weekend.daMn Mr.Torres is a diCc! He's fuckin punishing me,Jessica and Jasmine...sayin how we dont do our work.Err I was so0 mad.I'm lyke 'fuck dammit..i fuckin do mah work every fuckin time in dis class'.I cant help it duude..me n mah potty mouth =/ But still, even Jessica was hella bitchin at him.And Jasmine's jus lyke wutever.Mahn tomorro is da group test..n he comez by n tellz Dominique dat she's takin it alone cuz he thinks dat shes da onlee wun dat doez her work.I'm lyke 'dammit its a daMn group test!' how can he jus take wun of our individuals.Jus cuz shes da smartest...n jus blah.Teachers r supoz to want der students to pass not fail.. he jus wanna experiment wit us..he knows we guna fail.Dat bastard! Imma tell his older brother, Mr.Torres (mah photog teacher..wh0z veRy ko0 =P)!!! N E fuckin wayz...at lunch..dis random white guy comes up to me n asks me out n asks for mah number.I sed dat I wasnt over my ex...n I gave him da wrong number.Cuz I aint guna go out wit sumwun wen I'm still in love wit sumwun else n thinkin bout dat person..n i think its disrespectful to dat person.N plus I dont even know dis guy.Dis guy makes me feel very weird n uncomfortable.MaHn i swear he keeps stalkin me n approaching me.I'm very scurred =/ So I take Vickie n I'm lyke 'Come on Vickie...take me to go see Steven'.While we were walkin to see Steven, Vickie tells me dat she saw sumthin dat happened earlier wit him an another grl.Mah face was lyke dis ---> =( N wen we got dere to where he hangs out...I see him wit da same grl dat Vickie sez she saw him wit earlier.Didnt lukk good to0 =/ So I freakin turn around n walk away fast.Fuck mahn Steven's a jerk! ALL guys r fuckin Jerks!! Wen da lunch bell rang..Vickie went to meet up wit Hahn, n I waited for Pat.I waited for a long tyme.Den Ron comes up behind me...he was guna mess around n flirt lyke we always do..but wen I turn around he saw me very sad.He had a worried face n sed 'Wuts Wrong..??' N fuccck..I was lyke breathless mahn..felt lyke i couldnt talk.N he sed it agen lukkin even more serious.I sed 'nuttin' (yenno wen yer bout ta cry..yer neck freakin hurts..n u start sniffling..well dats how i sed it.) N Ron yelled 'LiLy!!...Wuts wrongs???' I couldnt help it so I sed 'Jon..' N BLAH tears fall down mah damn face.Ron starts hugging me n sez 'he's a jerk! I'll beat him up for you okay..i will..' N we were jus standing dere hugging.I did needed comfort.N fuck it also b/c of Steven.MahN I'm such a babee =( Ron sed 'DONT CRY...its not worth da tears..I love you Lily.' he sed it agen too, 'I love you Lily...' I didnt say anything back tho..I jus let go n start walkin away to class.In class Ray sez 'damn u must reely miss him huh' =/ I jus cant stand being so alone...I realize dat I reely need him.
today I'd lyke to thank:
Ron Blair - Thank You for always being dere for me.Thanks for your friendship n comfort everytime I need it.I Love You to0 RON!!!!!

2003-05-29T23:24:00.000-07:00
Blaque - When The Last Teardrop Falls
It's so hard to lose the one you love
to finally have to say goodbye
you try to be strong but the pain keeps holdin' on
and all that you can do is cry
deep within your heart you know it's time to move on
when the fairy tale that you once knew is gone
when the last tear drop falls
I'll still be holdin' on to all of our memories
and all of what used to be
when the last tear drop falls
I will stand tall
and know that you're here with me in my heart
when the last tear drop falls
so now I'm alone and life keeps movin' on
but my destination still unknown
Will There Be A Time When I'll Fall In Love Again?
when I was meant to walk these streets alone
if there was just one wish I could be granted here tonight
it would be to have you right back by my side
now it's time for me to find my happiness again
and the emptiness from missin' you
will never ever end

sigh....feelin dat song!

The hardest thing to experience is knowing dat da person you're always thinking of is thinking of someone else.To know dat he moves on without you.When he's still a big part of you.What hurts the most is to know that he told her those words, those same words he told you.While shedding those tears every night, thinking and knowing that you cant ever get him back.But da worst thing is that you still keep on hoping and believing that maybe one day you will be together once again.You know he's far far away living another life without you... =(

my horoscope --> your ex has a diminished role in your life, or maybe none at all.You're with someone else now, making new commitments and developing different rhythms.This was one romantic transition worth making.Your ex puts up a fight.Both of you should let go.People that know too much about each other are locked in an uncomfortable dance.As long as you keep this up, your future with anyone else remains on hold.Look with an open mind.

dont make the mistake of letting go your first love...

2003-05-28T22:32:00.000-07:00
Genuwine - Love You More
I love you more everyday
you show me love in everyway
theres nuttin left for me to say
but 'I love you'

mahn Steven not here today.Dat suxs.wanted to tell him sumpthin...but blah.aint present today =/ In 3rd period dere was a preview for 'Hello Dolly' It was funny.David did a good job tho =D daMn Anthony lukk so0o g00d today =P haha i was awl impress...lyke wow.He dress up nice.

daMMit! why do I feel lyke dis? hurt,confused,scared..=( Fuck MaHn..itz so hard for me to let go n jus try to move on.I cant pretend dat I'm happie wen I know I'm NoT. I'd be happie if I was wit him agen.Itz lyke he's playin games wit me maHn. Patrick: see wut happenz...he tries too hard to be a playa that he got lost in his own game. Fuck Face MaHn! Jus...lead me on.I hate fuckin hypocrites! N everbody should know I fuckin hate lies.sHiT..err I dont know wut da fuck to do =/ Maybe I jus have to realize dat its time now.Dat I reely gotta let go.I reely hate da 'if you love sumwun let dem go' crap.But maybe dats wut I have to do.Derz jus no way dat we can be 2gether agen.
I jus want him to be happie.I want him to find sumwun who would be dere for him,talk to him,make him smile,make him happie...jus awl da things dat i didnt accomplish.Even tho I thot i did =/ If he ever finds sumwun dat replace me would tear me apart so damn much.But I want him to be with sumwun who makes him feel da way dat I feel wen I'm with him.Dats awl I want.And if he's happier with her den dats dat...i cant do nuttin bout it.I'm very glad dat I have my frenz who r dere for me 24/7 to cheer me up and help me get thru awl dis crap i go thru.So I'd lyke to thank sum homiez:
to my best frenz: Pat and Sou - you grlz R sisters ta me.Thank You for always listening to mah problems and helping me get thru everything.I luv yaLL so much.
to Bao, Nikki, Nhi - thanks for always listening and hearing me bitching a lot about mah situations.YaLL always advice me on wut I should do.thank you
to Sandra, Veronica, Lan - you guys are always dere for me and helping me get thru life everyday
To da homeboiz:
to Patrick and Richard - you guys R lyke brothers to me.I love you guys.You guys always stood by me wen mah world was falling apart.
to Steven Eagleton - who always know how to put a big smile on mah face wenever I have a frown =D
to Ron, Ivan, Brandon - always cheering me up wen I was down.I love hanging out wit you guys.
to David and Kevin - altho things have changed a lot...n we ended up not talkin no more.I luv you guys.you always taught me right from wrong and taught me to be strong
to Jeff - we been thru a LoT.mahn I reely dont know wuts goin on wit us.we dont talk no more.But you've always been dere and I love you for dat
to Josh D and Jon - I enjoy hanging out wit you guys.You guys are always bitchin bout him.thank you for dat.lol =P YaLL always knew wut to tell me wut i should do

to mah cuz Jenny and Alvin - I loooove you guys.Always hearing mah complaints and being dere for me always

to all da frenz I lost - you guys have always been with me thru thick and thin.Even wen I was sad and struggling.Yall always knew how to lift mah head up wen I was down.Yall always knew how to calm me down wen I was angry.Always been dere to hear me out.Always listenin to me bitchin bout life and all my dramas.We all have been thru hard times and dramatic shit..but we always knew how to make up for dat.I love you guys lyke families.Thank You for respecting mah decision and understanding da choice I made
Class of 05

2003-05-26T22:27:00.000-07:00
LiL prechuz wun: i cried b/c I'm not wit him
LiL prechuz wun: dats da reason
LiL prechuz wun: n i hella miss dat
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: i told u
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: juss...
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: lily .. think twice
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: unattached urself frm him
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: u attached to him too much ..
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: he isnt wit u no more..
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: he doesnt do wat he said
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: say one thing does another
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: he been hurtin u so much ... i noe u still love him n awl.. but its juss not worth it anymore
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: cuz i dont wanna see u awl sad anymore
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: cuz u will end up gettin hurt
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: dont say dat .. wen u noe u dont want him as a frend
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LiL prechuz wun: he always doubt my feelings for him
XStarlitPrincess: he's a bitch

2003-05-26T20:20:00.000-07:00
Lenny Kravitz - Again
all of my life
where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
and if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

damn wutta weekend I had! It was awl worth it.Saturday was a hella busy ass day for me.I woke up cleaning up da whole house n makin food for da big party for my mom and my brother's birthday.Lader I went to get cake wit mah aunt n after dat I went to get mah babee niece wit mah dad.Da party didnt start till 7pm.Basically I jus watch babee Sharon n was wit her every minute..never left her side.Her daddy was drinking a lot wit his homiez and my homiez outside and takin shots.Patrick was lyke 'come on Lily lets go take sum shots' hahah daMn! to0 bad I miss dat! Duuude pplz thot dat I was da mother of babee Sharon! I'm lyke 'yea I'm da mother..I'm onlee...how ol' am I? ...yea 15.' I love holding da babee, n feeding he milk, changing her diapers, playing wit her, talking to her.. Da party was reely fun. Altho I didnt get to party much but sho0t I chose to take care of da babee =) I was in my mom's room with babee Sharon, watchin Blade and Batman and Robin (da wun wit George Clooney and Arnold S......). Duude mah frenz made a mess in mah room!! I came in at 1:30am wen da party was over n da room was messy. !Hay Caramba! o0h, I heard dat dere was complaints frum da neighbors dats y da party had to be over at 1:30. Dats so gay. Welps today I woke up and spent my afternoon takin g00d care of Sharon =) GOSH I jus looove spending tyme alone wit her.Its Perfect.Wen she fell asleep in mah arms..was da most peaceful thing in da world I ever felt.And also wen I was feeding her milk, and jus singing and talking to her A LOT.She never stops laughing n smiling wen shes wit me..and same wit me wen I'm wit her.I love her as if she was my own daughter.She's a beautiful baby. I talked to Jon today on da fone.And also for da past 3 days to0. Duude its weird..lyke everytyme I'm on da fone wit him, Sharon smiles and laugh sOO much. But wen I'm on da fone wit other ppl..she doesnt.Hmm how weird. At 3:00 today, me and my parents drove awl da way to Carlsbad in Rancho to return babee Sharon to her mother =/ wen her mother Sherri held her babee and I start saying goodbye and I told babee 'dont cry okay' den I start walkin away a lil...and Sharon starts crying.Everywun was lyke 'wh0a'. Lader me and mah parents left =/ I reely miss her soo much I kept thinkin bout mah niece since I left.After dat, me and my parents went to Barona Valley Casino for about an hour.I won babeE!!JacKpOt.HahaH.$230.i onlee kept 130 and gave rest to parents.Damn I've never been so rich...I'm goin out next week maHn! ..movies..shopping.ShieeeT havnt been out in lyke a whole month now.I'm bling blinging ryyte now =D dAMn I miss ShaRon soOo much! I didnt realize how much she means to me. Why do teenagers make it sound lyke its hard to take care of babies? Gosh iono it seems simple to me..I'm willing to give up skoo/hanging out wit frenz to jus be wit mah babee.I reely miss da 3 days being wit my niece..

2003-05-23T23:39:00.000-07:00
Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body
dont be so quick to walk away
dance with me
I wanna rock your body
please stay
dance with me
you dont have to admit you wanna play
dance with me
just let me rock you
till the break of day
dance with me

I'm feelin a lil better today.I sed 'a lil'.But me ish still sick =/ I was walkin wit D'Andre to our 2nd period n damn he wont get his hands off meh! I'm lyke 'uhh who sed u could touch me?'Den he keeps tickling me wen we get in class (N everywun knows mah tickly sp0t..especially Ron who wont stop..), I was laughing s0 loud.haha duude I'm very ticklish! Welps we awl gots new seats in ge0metry n we could pick our own group to0! (dats da furst).I was guna sit wit Steven, Dang and De'shawn.Cuz Steven n Dang was kallin me ovah.Steven was lyke 'come sit here' but den da table was full.cuz dis wun grl was sitting dere wit dem, n I can hear Steven tellin her to move but she wont move.So I yelled 'its aight Steven, ferget it'. So I went to sit wit D'Andre and Kee.And Mr.Torres sed 'okay dis table needs to split up ryyte now' N I sed 'why?' n he sed 'cuz you guys already been in groups n never stop talkin wen I'm talkin' Errr geez so we 3 went to find our own tables.I was goin to sit wit Porshea n Yasmin but den D'Andre ran to da chair n sat down.I'm lyke 'o0h hell nAw...move yEr aSS now!' I was guna kick his ass offa dat chair too...but den Mr.Torres sez 'Lolita plzz go sit ovah dere...' he pointed to da table wit Jasmine,Dominique n Jessica. Jasmine n Jessica dont even do dere work..dey goof around a lot.N Jasmine keeps talkin shit bout Margarita..duude it was funnny.We was awl laughing nonstop.Wen it was passing period I was walkin wit Steven to 3rd period den ditch him to hang out with Obede n Nick..I feel bad =/ At least we talk agen now...well 'a lil'=/ MaHn 'a lil' suxs! !Hay Caramba! ..den lader I ditch dem 2 to hang out wit Rojelio n Ron.Cuz I was waiting for Pat to get outta her class (n damn she takin forever to get outta class nowadayz..how slooow).hehe itz awl g00d th0.Mahn Ron was tickling mE! Den we hugged...lyke for da longest tyme.He wont let go too.N next thing ya kno he hugs me n bends me down lower n lower n lower n....den we're on da ground! He was on top of meh duude!! Rojelio was awl yelling 'oH come on now...yaLL needa Get a Room!' den he gets up and pulls me back up.Den I slap him in da bacc of da head for doing dat.Cuz damn dat hug was toO long and tOOOoO cLoSe...I even felt sumpthin else....UH OOH.hahah damn.I didnt even know I hit soO hard cuz it made a sound 'bAM' and Rojelio was lyke 'OOOohhh'. wELL...dat was da most affection/sexual HuG ever.Ahem* n E wayz..Brandon came to hang out in mah 3rd period =). Cuz he's in art class n sum pplz frum art class comes in to draw on da set we build. I wanted to talk to Brandon more but den Mr.Oberle sed 'Lily, go control da lightings' So Blah I had to be in charge of lights. Pep Rally sucks.Dere was onlee singing.I was wit Greg, Brittney, LeorA.Umm Greg supoz to be at da seniors but Oh well ish awl goOd.He tries to videotape me wit his videocamera.BLAH. ..I wanted to sit at da JunioRs wit...yaLL know WhO =P but I'm reppin da soPhoMoRes BaBeeE..Class of 05!! I found out mah High skOo exit exam scores today.N dayam I did soO g00d.Mah ol' english teacher(Mr.D) came into mah english class n told me mah scores.I score a 391 for english and I was soO fuckin close on da math! I score a 344 for da math.Everywun need at least a 350 to past.I'm soO proud, I did purdy g0od =D I miss Mr.D!!!!

2003-05-22T23:10:00.000-07:00
K-Ci and JoJo - Crazy
I've finally realized,that you are my true love
and I had a lot of time to think,and you're all seem to keep thinking,
to keep thinkin of
and now I know I need you each and every day
I cant live without you,so dont run away
Baby you say that you love me,so why'd u leave me, why (why, why, why, why)

I'm still sick maHN! =/. It seem lyke I aint neva gon' get better.suxs duude.welps..dere was a reely ko0 japanese orchestra performance during 3rd period(wich took place in mah class).Da assembly was fawkin tyte =D.'Its a small world'(after all), was mah most favorite =).I was backstage wen everywun came into da auditorium.I peek out da curtain N I see a grip load of pplz comin in.I was hopin' dat Steven would be at dis assembly.I even keep lukkin around lyke every minute n even peep outta da curtain a couple tymes.I was talkin to Josh Yockey ..he peep out da curtain n lukk back at me n say 'LuKK Steven's heRe!!' I'm awl yelling 'WHERE'?!? Turns out Yockey was jus messin wit meh.Cuz yea..he know's Steven to0.I was backstage for awhile,cuz da group dat was working on da Hat Shop for 'Hello Dolly' has to rearrange da set a litto.oHH yea, Josh D finally paid bacc mah dollar =D.He sed 'now quit buggin' me bout it'.hahaH sho0..but imma bugabo0 =).During lunch,Pat told me bad news bout wut she saw happen wit Steven..n another person.DAMMIT.FucKin A...! dat bi0utch alwayz tryna gEt wiTh him! He dont fuckin lyke y0u bitch! foreals tho...krazy ass chicks always trying to be macking wit mah Steven.Shiiiet.!hay caramba!N E wayz..I got to see Albert at lunch today! Havnt seen him in a loong time now..n he's on crutches! Cuz yesturday I heard he got into an car accident.I was awl shocks, n I told Veronica bout it n she sed 'OMG did he die??' Den I sed 'Nooo0o...sho0 if he did den I would be crying!' Hope your leg is better HomiE! duuude..today I find myself bitchin a lot at pplz.well I mean wen I'm sick...I'm lyke dat okay I canT heLp it! After skoo I was in da parking lot wit Ivan n Brandon...den I see Steven wit sum pplz.We jus stare at each other da whole tyme n didnt say nuttin wen he passed by.FUCKIN A..guys are so weird.
Happie 20th Burthday to my brother BO =D

2003-05-21T22:46:00.000-07:00
New Edition - I'm Still In Love With You
time passes so fast babe
I wish it would last babe
cause I know in my heart
that my life ends and starts with you
and baby I know that this feeling
I'm feeling just won't let me go away
cause you're the first true love I've ever known
so what would I do without your love
baby it's heaven sent from above
and I know that in my heart
I'm the best for you

FuCk MaHn...I'm still fuckin sick!FUckin A...I had dis reely bad headache awl day long.mahn I swear I had wun of doz tension headache.BLAH..I need excedrin.Mah voice still sounds very different n daMn being sick suxs =/ Everytyme I cough in class n shiet...tears come out ('uhh no I'm not crying..'), n mah runny nose to0.It suxs mahn! N da soRe thR0at..errrr.N E ways duude, fuck! I got paint awl ovah mah white sweater AGEN! dammit so far I got 2 white sweaters with paint awl ovah, mah ol' pair of white Kswiss wit stained paint on it, n wun of mah shirt with paint marks awl ovah it!! !Hay Caramba! but nO pants... yet.Stage Craft ish fun..but damn I'm losing awl mah cloths maHN! 0hh yeaa..Anthony got purple paint on mah forehead today.
Blah =P.heey..as long as it aint on mah cloths sho0!! At lunch, I was wit Jon n Josh in da lil RO room jus hangin out.Josh finally remembers dat he owes me a dollar frum a long ass tyme ago.Dats cuz I remind him shO0..he tries to deny it to0..shiett.He had 2 dollars n still dont pay me bacc.He sez 'I promise I'll pay you bacc..cuz yea dez 2 dollars arent mine' Wuttta dorrrk.always owing ppl $$$ 0hh..I was guna buy a soda frum da soda vending machine N Jon was standing by me da wh0a tyme n he sez 'heeey..y y0u buying a soda frum dere??..wen y0u can buy wun frum ME' I was awl laughing n sed 'well..I want mah soda cold' Jon sed 'but it is cold...lukk feel it' (Josh feelin' it n sez 'wow dat is cooold').So me n Josh buys a soda frum Jon Sy.haha he'z awl smiling, cuz he made business.Duuude,da sierra mist tastes g000d =).hahah I've never tried dat..but sho0 ish true,da commercials 'yea itz kinda lyke dat' Muhaha.It tastes g00d wen ish c00Ld.ReFrEsHiNg =D
0oh yeah..earlier today me and Deveon was talking bout what guy names and girl names do we like.herez mah list: Steven, D'Andre, Mike, Patrick, Chad, Mark. Den Deveon sez 'eww doz names suxs..y not Dave or sumpthin lyke..David??' I was lyke 'yeah dats a nice name =D (dat i forgot to include).N den he sez 'o0h I got a g00d guy name 'what bout JON??' N I didnt say n e thing for lyke da longest tyme..n Deveon continues 'Jon's da best guy name I know..' =/

2003-05-19T22:56:00.000-07:00
Primary Colorz - If I Could Change
funny how with each passing day
u come to mind in unexpected ways
a song, jus da angle of the moon
brings me back to u
u were my first, my last, my only luv
the earth and the stars above
if i could change
one thing about my life
i'd take back the day
the day i let u go
if i could change
i'd turn back the hands of time
i know u'd be mine
if only i could change
just when i think i've been set free
flashes of our life come back to me
how 'bout u do u ever ache inside
and u know not why
u were my first, my last, my only luv
i'm so wrapped up in the memory

I went to sko0 today..n I'm still very sick =/ Jus wen I thot I got a lil better..!Hay Caramba! I'm so0 sick dat mah voice sounds reely different n sho0t I'm lyke dying in 1st N 2nd period.I had my head down in 2nd period...den Mr.Torres sent me to da nurse.I didnt even wanna go cuz i know she aint guna do anything bout it.Mr.Torres sed dat I could go after Josh gets back from da restroom.So I'm lyke okay..I'll jus wait til he gets back.N damn every 5 minutes dat pass by I'm lyke 'its been 10 minutes already..den 15..20..25.Even Kee N Rick sed dat he went to da restroom cuz I sed 'R y0u shure Josh went to da restroom, cuz he shure take a hella long tyme in dere.' N dey jus kept makin fun of him bout' wut he could be doin' in dere.Ew. Den lader, Mr.Torres wrote me a pass to da nurse.Den wen I was walkin pass by da boys locker room, I see Josh walking back to class.I was yelling at him 'It took you Long Enough!' He jus laugh(lyke he always does)..n he sez 'mahn I was lying down for lyke 30 minutes..da nurse wont let me do shiet' N I was lyke 'SOO datS where y0u were!..so wut y0u d0?sLeeP??' Josh replies 'yea =)' DuuuDe..wutta dork.I waited dat long thinkin he was in da restroom n listenin to Rick n Kee.PssH n e wayz duDe..dammit I hate da fawkin nUrSe! She wont do shit! She jus told me to go ly down..n wen I tell her I dont feel any better she wants to gimme a pill.She lukk thru da files of card over n over lyke 3 tymes n goes 'i dont see you on here' n I'm lyke '0h dats probly cuz mah dad didnt fill wun out' Den she kalls Dad n tells him to bring me a pill to take at skoo.N I'm lyke Err WTF..mite as well tell him to pick me up to go home! But no0o..So lader daddy shows up wit da pills n sum MiCkey D's =D! N da nurse was lyke 'aww dats so sweet of him' den she sez 'did u tell him to bring dat to0??' I'm lyke ahh no bitch shaddup.haha.no i didnt say dat.lader wen dad leaves, da nurse writes me back a pass, I walked allah way to mah 2nd period to get mah stuff..den i walk awl da way to mah 3rd period.hahah it was funny cuz it lukk lyke I was ditching..cuz i was holding da mcdonalds bag and da soda.Thanks Daddy for da mickey D's =) !!! haha I'm so spoiled =D. Da pplz marching around at RO were awl lukkin at me.muhaha.Welps, luckily ders a sub in 3rd period, so I share food wit Nikki n Bao n Sandra.Hahah well...shared friez =P DuuuDe..at lunch Eric n Teng try to get wit Pat.Dey be fighting 'shes mine'...'no mine' 'mine' Den I jus grab her n sed 'DaMN..she's mine!' haha n dey back off.Cuz I was talking to Pat..in da middle of a c0nversati0n..n dey jus keep interfering..n of korse I hate it wen ppl butt in wen I'm talking..cuz I get reely mad easily!!!! Den lader on..dey fight agen for Pat..N I was yelling 'DaMMit..can YaLL jus g0 away..I'm trying to talk to her bout sumpthin!' N dey sed 'okay geez..alrite..dayam.. n walk away =P ..never mess wit me wen I'm sick R on mah RaG maHN!!cuz I get reely reely bitchy =) Damn..entry ish gettin long..n Imma bout ta rap it up now..widda.. 'I miSS Steven s00 damn MuCh!!' He better be here tomorr0! mahn he wasnt here today
=( dats cuz he probly thot I wouldnt be at skoo today..so he didnt come too =P HeHe JK.

2003-05-18T17:00:00.000-07:00
Frankie J - Dont Wanna Try
oh how i wish things would of happened so differently
i try'd to save it so many times but you still couldnt see
u kept insistin and resistin that u would not fall again
and now u tryin to tell me that ur sorry
and ur tryin to come back home
dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more
u keep insisting when u know our love is out the door
dont wanna try dont wanna try cuz all we do is fight and say the things
i hurt u bad to when we both begin to cry
dont wanna try dont wanna try i about just had enough its been a rough road
baby just let it go
dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more
tell me whats the use of holdin' on when all we do is hurt our love

I finally realize dat I have to let go cuz no matter how hard I try it jus wont matter to you

Patrick: forget him girl just forget him
Me: how can i jus forget him?
Patrick: he aint gon never change
Patrick: I aint no hater but that nigga got lost in his own game
Me: hell yea...fuckin A!
Me: he's a ....
Patrick: a what?
Me: a ....
Patrick: say it..
Me: he is a...
Patrick: say it!
Me: he's a dick!
Patrick: there ya go =)
Patrick: he probably did love you but he now in love with the struggle
Me: dats so true
Patrick: you put up with too much from this fo0
Patrick: and yea I'm spittin this to you,cause you deserve more than what he givin to you
Me: daMn hypocrite! ...jus say wun thing, n yet do another
he confuse me so much
Me: imma jus give up trying..cuz i told him how i feel..n he heard me..but aint doing anything bout it I aint guna try no more cuz i fuckin give up
Patrick: just take a little mo' time, love'll find you girl cuz you precious n beautiful
Me: I jus hope dat I wont go back to it agen =/
Patrick: letting go hurts tha most
Patrick: but what hurts you even more is holding on for too long

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richard: dont be the one losin now girl, you was choosin the wrong man
Me: it hurts! loving sumwun so much,willing to do anything for dat person..fuck damn da pain is incredible
Richard: what you let that nigga do to you?
Richard: damn I knew you since elementary...
Richard: you my best friend..an I aint gonna let that mutha fucker fooL you no more.
Me: he a lying cheating ass mutha f.....
Richard: if dat man whore hurt you again imma fuck him up..he wont know which cripzsta he dealing with!
Me: =/
Richard: lily you dont need him
Richard: and so what if he move on already..that nigga is hella quick..for all i know he was seeing her even when he was withchu
Me: i know..it so fuckin obvious
Me: n i aint fuckin dumb either.DaMn!
Richard: yeah..an that bitch will know what its like..she probably aint gonna put up with his shit..all the shit you had to go through
Richard: he a prick!
Richard: and I aint tryin to gas ya up or shit lyke dat, but I just call him how I see him
Me: yea..n i dont even know where da fuck we went wrong
he thinks 'we're still frenz' n awl dat crap but fuck it..we aint nuttin now n I'm awl outta tears.
Me: now I'm at da point where I say 'fuck it all' n give up trying cuz he wont giva shit..he dont even know..
Richard: so stop wasting your tears on dis bastard

....Had to wake up face reality

2003-05-16T18:33:00.000-07:00
Daniel Beddingfield - If your not the one
I dont want to run away but I cant take it,I don’t understand
if I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
if I dont need you then why am I crying on my bed?
if I dont need you then why does your name resound in my head?
I dont know why you’re so far away
but I know that this much is true
we’ll make it through
and I hope you are the one I share my life with
and I wish that you could be the one I die with
and I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

Fuck maHn..I am s0 sick today.Didnt go to sko0...n I have an exam for spanish too.Fuck dat I probly failed now!But shit I feel so damn sick I cant even move.I wanted to go to skoo to0 but dad sed I'm too sick n I should stay home.I got a reely bad headache..it hurt..dammit it felt lyke everything is spinning around..n mah thR0at,damn it fuckin s0Re.Patrick and Richard surprized me wit a your show 4 ticket! N dats tonite! But I cant go cuz I'm fuckin sick dammit.Fuck damn I wanna go..I wanna see Daniel Beddingfield perform 'If your not the one' and I wanna see Primary Colorz perform 'if i could change' and Frankie J 'dont wanna try' N guest host is J.C Chasez!! Hay Caramba...but I cant go =/ ....I kept on thinkin bout him today.Everything we had,everything we sed to each other...jus awl da memories.I dont know y I keep on going back to it n always reminisce bout dis shit.It fuckin hurt lyke hell.Jus damn..how can he move on s00 fast.Dats hella quick.I mean lukk at me, its been how long already?? Been 2 months dat passed by n still I feel da same.DaMn it hurts so0 hella bad..da PaiN..y0u dont even know how much it hurts!Fuckin A!! I jus wanna be happie agen n I wanna be able to fall in love agen.But nuttins ever guna be da same.Fuckin No One can compare! Errr Fuck it Hurts! =( I dont know wut to do anymore..its lyke I should jus give up already, cuz no matter how hard I try it jus aint goin no where.I Miss Him A LoT A LoT! Everywun keeps telling me dat I should jus let go and move on..and awl dat talk bout how much I deserve better.But I dont care! fucK..I gave mah whole damn Heart to him..n now its awl been torn in two.Why do I love him soO much? =/ I know dat after a break up, ..dey become frenz.But shit I dont want dat! Sumhow..i dunno Y..but FuCk,I feel lyke I've been used! He was my first love... Dey say, let da wun you love go..n wen dey come bacc to you den it was meant to be.Why havnt he come back to me? Letting go is soo0 damn hard ta do.But wuts even more harder for me ta do is to watch da wun I love, love sumwun else...

2003-05-13T22:17:00.000-07:00
Shania Twain - Your Still The One
when I first saw you,I saw love
and the first time you touched me,I felt love
and after all this time,you're still the one I love
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

damn mutha fucker i g0ts paint awl ovah mah white jacket from painting da set in stagecraft with Anthony yesturday.N it wont wash off!! ...welps I was late agen dis morning and dat bi0uch Ms Murrell is guna call daddy at work.Fuckin A! wutever dude i jus dont giva fuck no more,i cant fuckin help it I'm always late!well yea anyways..Steven is HeRe today!yiPPiE yAy =D ..cuz he wasnt at sko0 yesturday n left me awl al0ne =( 3rd period I left with Sandra,Frank,Bao,Nikki and Chris to mission beach.My plan awl along =) had fun being away from skOo.Nikki was walking around with her hubby Chris, Sandra and Frank spent tyme 2gether, Me and Bao was walking around and of korse I complain how hungry I was..so we went to get foOd from da vending machine...n damn dey gots sum g00d food..unlyke da crap kearny gots! hahah I'm such a piggy..takin everywuns food =P We awl went back to kearny at lunch.I was talking to Vickie bout da guy I lyke=Steven...n she was lyke "Steven Eagleton??...da guy dat always wears dat grey sweater" N damn I was so shock cuz she sed she use to like him so much.Den we both walk over to senior's patio to see him =) Sho0 wut a coincedence..Hay Caramba!! I gotta point sumpthin out... why is it always dat da guys makes girls cry so much?? seriously damn..guys are fuckin dicks maHn!! (well not all guys) ...i swear..dez fuck faces! JUss ErRRR. Advices to all da ladiez: No guys is worth your tears..and wen you find da wun who is..dey wont make you cry.Mah homegrl is goin thru a lot right now..and i swear imma kick Jon's ass! Not Jonathan SY...jus err dat fuckin punk rocker Jon.Dammit I hate dat name 'JON'.Fuckin shit..cuz every guy wit dat name awl are dicks maHn.AssWhoLes..except for Jonathan Sy..he's alryte now I guess. Love fuckin hurts =/ I keep telling myself how I wish I never met him.But Pat pointed sumpthin out to me 'if you never met him den you would never experience love and know how good it felt and how much it can hurt'

2003-05-08T23:03:00.000-07:00
K-ci and JoJo - Tell Me Its Real
baby you told me that you love me and you'd never leave my side
through the bitter end through the thick and thin
you promised me baby that you wasnt going anywhere, yes you did
baby keep it real let me know just how you feel
tell me its real The feeling that we feel
tell me that its real Dont let love come
just to pass us by Try, is all we have to do
its up to me and you
to make this special love last forever more
I Cant Explain The Way You Make Me Feel
everytime you tell me that you love me
and you know you did so many times
just when i thought that love could never be a part of me
thats when you came along
and showed me happiness
baby you are the best
I think you're different from the rest
I really love you

2 m0r days till I get t0 see mah babee =D Welps anyways..today dere was a gr0up test for geometry.We didnt answer onlee wun question,but I think we did purdy go0d.Ron sed he miss me veRy muCh.I told him i miss him to0.maHn I miss Ron!damN Ms.Murrell had to change da seats.Fuckin A!! 0h in 3rd period we g0t da same SuB we had yesturday.HeLL yea..he's tYtE.he jus dont giva shit wut we do in dat class..he dont kare where we g0 to0..we jus gotta tell him.I was talkin to Nikki,Sandra and Bao..I was jus kidding wen I sed 'lets go to circle K' cuz everyday i would complain bout me being awl hungry..n i'd say 'lets go to Jack in da Box...KFC..Burger King' haha.Den Sandra was like 'yea lets go' Wun of us told da sub da we're goin to da library and he jus says 'okay' n den we left to Sandra's car out in da parking lot.We almost got caught!0h yea da library aint open awl dis week cuz of AP testing...lol.N yea i been knowing dat..c dat sub ish KoO! I yelled sh0tgun =D!we awl jus decide where to go wile driving,I wanted to go to Madison, Nikki wanted to go to Mira Mesa...i wanna stop by dere too to say hi to mah homiez..but ish too far and plus we dont want no ticket for ditching to other skooz n we dont wanna get caught by da skooz security.so basically we jus drove around places..at first we awl wanted to go to da mall but dont wanna get caught by da securities dere.I was like 'Lets go to Plaza!' hahah..but naw...too far.den i was lyke 'oo00h..lets go to BOOMERS' but nowun brought their money exept for Sandra.She wanted to treat us to awl dez places but me,Nikki and Bao was like Naw ish aight.Lader I told Sandra da directions to Madison.And we went dere.We were dere to0!awl we have to do was go in..we waited about 5 minutes till lunch.Me and Nikki was sooO anxious to get out and go in.But Bao and Sandra sed it was too risky n dat we shouldnt.so we didnt.MahN i wanted to go soO bad.I wanted to see awl mah homies agen and I wanna visit mah uncle..cuz he's a counselor at Madison.I shure miss dat skoo a lot =/ Anyways we left to Teahouse (still in Clairemont)..and we awl had BoBa.Sandra treat us =D I had strawberry Slusshie BoBa.uMm uMm g00d! Den Sandra's boyfriend came with Ronald and we awl jus kick it in dere.We were guna shoot sum pool but we dunno where da balls were at.lol.I was like 'umm excuse me..where are da balls at' but yea..we ended up jus playing cards.bLaCkJaCk babeee =) Bao sed 'lets strip...losers strip' haha n I was lyke 'aww daMn.If onlee Steven was heRe!' hahah n we awl laugh.Sh0oo wen I get mah car...me N Steven will go everywhere =P welps lader on Sandra drove us back 15 minutes after our lunch time.we got back jus in time wen da bell rang for 4th period.I was guna go to Pat,Lan,Jonathan n dem...but naw I jus left to see Ron.He saw mah boba and he was lyke 'oO0h u ditch..' den he keeps drinking mah boba.sho0 I kno ish g000d!

2003-05-07T22:38:00.000-07:00
New Edition ft.Missy Elliot - You Dont Have To Worry (remix)
I know that things aint right
seems like all we do is fight
and its been on my mind
you dont have to worry
I'm gonna make it right
I'll be on your side
no more lonely nights
you dont have to worry
what must I do to make it up to you?
what can I say,to make you see things my way?
I know its hard for you to understand
I did you wrong but I'll give my life to make it right

I cant wait till saturday! Imma get ta see mah babee neice Sharon =) YaY i kant wait.I been missin her since da last tyme dat i saw her wich was last friday.She so0o kyuTe =P AnYwAyz...sko0 was okay..we awl gots new seats in period 1..no0o0o..it suXs maHn! I miss sitting wit Ron..n wit Chris n Ricky.I liked mah 0L' table.Duuude,where da hell ish Ron maHn.He havnt been here in 4 days =/ I miss y0oh Ron..U need t0 come bacK! o0h in second period,ge0metry class, me N Margarita dont lyke dis wun grl dats a senior cuz shes a fuck face and gets on our last nerves and always be throwing papers at us n dont even fuckin know us.Margarita got mad so she told Mr.Torres dat sumwun fr0m da table next to us wont stop throwing papers at us.so Mr.Torres lukk over at dat table and sed 'Mr.Steven....' n i was awl yelling 'No0o0 Mr.Torres its not even hiM!' Bob, David and Margarita was laughin wen I sed dat..n Bob was lyke 'yea its not her boyfriend who threw dat..' n Mr.Torres was lyke 'Steven's your boyfriend!!!??' ..Geeez..n dey awl was laughing loud..n I think i was blushing.hahah.n I was lyke 'Yea, you didnt know dat Mr.Torres??' AnD he jus Grin at me,kalled me Miss Eagleton..n da 4 of dem laugH.PssH..daMn right I'm Miss Eagleton! lol.I'll make it into Mrs.Eagleton...watch =P So0 n e wayzz..0hh Michael came to kick it at mah 3rd period,stage craft.We guna have a sub awl week =D Most ppl be ditchin' n da sub dont even kaRe..dammn he's ko0..n we awl jus do wutever..n he still dont kare.I plucked Tung's eyebrows at lunch today.lol.I plucked Ray's to0.It lukks s0 purty =D I'll finish plucking Tung's tomorrow.

2003-05-03T22:42:00.000-07:00
Azn Dreamer - Angel From Above
I'd give anything for love just to be with you
and I swear I'll never change the way you are
cuz I will be there I will be there for you forever more
I wanna share you my life
Its only right that you be mine
cuz you are my angel from above

I've been at da mall da whoLe day.I was dere with Andrew,Jonathan,Kris,Nikki,Brittney,Nhi,Jon N Champa.I had fUn =) We awl watched Malibu's Most Wanted.Dat shiT ish fuuunny.Its da sHiZNiT =D !! After Malibu's, we awl wanted to watch X2..but den da guys awl wanna see Anger Management.I'm lyke fuck dat I wanna see X2! But den we awl ended up watching Anger Management...wich I th0t was stupid.Us grlz sed it was reely dumb.well ish kinda funny..but aint awl dat hilarious. 0oh..I keep stepping on Jonathan's shoes..0n accident!! I always be lyke 'sorrie jonathan...I sorry' but chea he always be sayin 'its 0kkay' widda grin on his face =D! It was s0 damn tiring after watchin 2 movies den g0in shopping t0o afterwards.I'm lyke..da piglet outta allah da group, cuz I always be lyke 'I'm hungggry' every minute.lol.But shoot at least we awl go to eat after everytyme I say dat I was hungry.hahah hey i havnt eatin in lyke 2 days okay! I had mongolian food at da mongolian festival..it was sO g00d..probly cuz ish mah favorite =) Den I had sum dairy queen.umMm umMm g00d =D Nikki,Kris n Nhi try ta hook me up wit dis wun guy.cuz wen we was in da theatre jus hanging out around da hallways waiting for da second movie to start, Nikki N Kris was kallin me over to dis guy dat Nhi was talkin to...dis guy turns out to be Nhi's cuzin N he worked dere.His name is Thien. DaMnnn He's a kyutey =D He keeps smiling at me a Lot wen we was talkin.He's onlee 17...lukks lyke his own age toO.Welps n e ways...t0o many guys hoLLerin maHN.but damn it was fuN.shOo mah frenz are ryyte...being single mean u can be wit any guy.N how much y0u waNT, to0 =P oOOh dammn..Richard n Patrick n dem awl ish reely mad at me =/. Dey both keeps kallin me wiLe I was in da theatre but I dont pick up..cuz wen I see da caller ID i didnt pick up =P .lol.well cuz I was in da theatre okay everybody guna get pissed n say 'shhh' dey awl mad at me cuz i didnt go to fashion wit dem n mah usual outgoing with crew. I sorrie y0u guys!!! I havnt been to da mall in lyke a long tyme..n da fun with mah frenz today was worth it =D Its been lyke almost 3 months..dats long....heeey, i think dis is da furst tyme hanging out wit mah kearny frenz!haha i jus noticed dat..hahaH.Cuz wen I go 0ut..I go wit mah frenz frum Madison..cuz hey dey mah bestest homiez n dats da skoO dat i came frum b4 coming to Kearny.N I kicc it with Mira Mesa ppl n also frenz frum da eastside =D...cuz I'm ghetto lyke dat.DoNt Be HaTiN' .lol.i was at da mall since early morning round 12ish den I came home at 9:30ish.

---I Miss Steven a LoT today =/ ---

2003-05-01T20:28:00.000-07:00
Today's Horoscope
Problems in your personal life will continue to intensify unless you have a heart-to-heart talk with a loved one.You must stop avoiding the difficult issues, Leo.The two of you must try to spend more time together. Problem becomes more obvious when it cuts into your private life, this isn't your best moment.Be aware of how quickly things change. No matter where you live, it's as if you're in the center of the stage with everyone staring.Think of yourself as more of a tourist attraction than the central focus.Right now,you can trust someone to catch you if you trip.

-DamN..so fuckin true.I had a very bad day today.It was bad luck day for me.I never felt dis emotional since....jus..fuckin A!..I hate dis day! it awl started wen I almost got killed today.(see..you could tell it jus aint mah day already).I almost got hit by a big ass truck.I was rushing to class cuz we go to our 2nd period furst today..n I heard Kee yelled 'DAMN GRL watch0ut' N da truck was lyke 'WhruuUUm'..another centimeter step den i woulda got hit.Kee was lyke 'you almost got hit..be careful next time.' N E wayz..i was shivering in class, cuz i wear a tank top..thot it was guna be hot..but it fuckin coLd! I yellin 'I'm coooooLd' den David sed 'why dont you ask him for his sweater?'(pointing to Steven passing by) I laugh awl loud..cuz he sed it awl funny.i sed 'no0o..' n David sez 'you can give it a try.' HahaH Steven heard us tOo..he jus smile.Welps I guess me and Margarita are koo now..cuz i use to fuckin hate her..lyke she would always get on mah fuckin nerves n I always fuckin cus at her.lol.But yea we talk a lot today..n i mean since she sits at mah table now...i gotta work with her to0.But yea we talked,laughed,did our work,help out,talked.haha.We koo now.I didnt have to take da CAT 6 today cuz i dont have science..n half da class next door who dont have science to0 came ovah to mah class. Me,Brenda,Tuan, Ricky and Debbie jus chilled t0gether.haha dey awl come frum da same class..well not Rick th0..cuz he's in mah class.Third period was a bitch..but me,Anthony n Andrew n da rest of our group actually made sum progress today.we buildin' da hat shop for da upcoming musical 'HeLLo DoLLy' Shiet dat fuckin bitch Kristin is pissing me off.Fuckin thinks she da boss n think she can boss me around..imma smack her face off..watch..n shiet i found out dat she screwed mah homeboi Jeff at a party.Damn you fuckin tric hoe! Jus damn...he's not lyke dat.I jus dont know him anymore.He change completely ever since....well i can understand dat ppl do stupid things after a breakup..i mean cuz i shure did a lot of hella stupid things to0..but at least i correct dem.Me n Jeff went thru da same breakup..n same time to0.Jus damN never let sumwun change you lyke dat.But Jeff...whassup wit awl da smokin crack now..den g0t drunk at a party n fucked a slut??..fuckin A 0kay Furst..he knows I fuckin hate her N 2nd..he fuckin lied to me.N dats jus buLL..dats why at lunch i smack him in da back of da head.I jus didnt wanna lose another freN...but afraid I already did.Shit happens.I talked things out with Britt cuz she's been mad at me n I wanna know why..cas awl i hear frum ppl is dat she's mad,its cuz we both dont talk no more and dont tell each other anything.wen she sed 'I mean i dont even know anything about you anymore..u jus completely ignore me..n I didnt even know dat you werent together with Jonathan anymore' n jus oOh shiet..dat puts me doWn.Fuckkkkin does anywun not know how much I dont wanna hear dat name no more.geeez.Luckily i didnt trip bout it much..cuz I already been in piss off mode awl day.I almost cried in 4th period =/ Mah eyes were very watery..thinkin bout da day I had.Shit I've never felt dis lonely before.I feel lyke I got nobody.Cuz awl of mah frenz R happie n shiet..n everywun of dem is hooking up 2gether..n I'm da 5th wheel kinda person.Jose N Pat(hooked up today..im so happie for dem cuz dey lyke each other a LoT),Nikki N Chris(been boyfriend n girlfriend..da cutest couple.I'm reely happie dat dey happie),Josh n Kim(Josh ish lyke dishin' me for Kim now..dey aint together..but he left meh! =/ ),my ex is moving on n he's happie.N I'm happie for him..even tho it hurts me to see dat..it was pain..but you jus gotta accept dat n be happie for da person you love.N so I am...for him.BUt den...da worst dat reely ruined mah whole day ish Steven and dat wun gurl..Emily I think =/ Dey aint 2gether but he seems so damn happie wen he's with her, lyke he would make her laugh a lot n she would make him smile a lot..n dey jus talk to each other a lot.I guess u can say im a lil jealous.N i aint even da jealous type.But i reely lyke dis guy a LoT.I lyke him A Lot! if ppl saw wut i saw today,i dunno how to say it but..it did hurt me.My frenz awl say dat i shouldnt 'fall so hard' but i couldnt help it..cuz he makes me happie.Da onlee person dat doez.

2003-04-29T22:06:00.000-07:00
Fabolous and Ashanti - Into You
I really like what you’ve done to me
I cant really explain it
I’m so into you

Today's Horoscope
Love finds you. Others notice a difference.Everyone understands that you're going through a phase of regeneration.Whether or not they benefit directly,they wish you well. Your life is just so rich that anything you give away now will never be missed.You love because you want to,not because you have to.Experience is a gift that sweethearts give each other again and again.No matter how often you've been through this together,it's always fresh and exciting each time.
You may laugh until you are blue in the face this morning in homeroom or math class <----so0o0 TrUe =D

Steven made me smile so0o much toDay =D

2003-04-28T21:30:00.000-07:00
A CoNv0 dat MaDe Me SmiLe a Lot TodAy =D

LiL pRecHuZ wuN: g0 PaTtY..ish yer bathtime..
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: hahaH
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: shower YeT?
LiBimAviMp9: yEp
LiBimAviMp9: haha
LiBimAviMp9: u diD toO
LiBimAviMp9: haha
LiBimAviMp9: i showERed SincE aFTer ... TaLkEd oN dA phOne wiTh TeNG !
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: guess wut
LiBimAviMp9: waTz uP ?
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: i had bacardi t0o =D
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: but 'shhhh..'
LiBimAviMp9: i waNT sOMe !
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: keep it on da downlow aight =)
LiBimAviMp9: =D
LiBimAviMp9: hahah
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: we guna sip bacardi lyke its our birthday!
LiBimAviMp9: :-D
LiBimAviMp9: sHuRe shUre
LiBimAviMp9: haha
LiBimAviMp9: dOodE...i sWeAR mAh b-dAY diS yeaR !
LiBimAviMp9: iMam GeT dRuNK!
LiBimAviMp9: wHOo hOo
LiBimAviMp9: sO i cAN get DIrTy =D
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: haha shure ish guna be yer bday..but sh0o ish guna be mah sweet 16!
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: so we guna awl get drunk up on our asses
LiBimAviMp9: yEp yEp
LiBimAviMp9: =D
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: n sip lots n lots of bacardi!
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: LOTS
LiBimAviMp9: nOt SiP...
LiBimAviMp9: dRink dA whOLE THaNg
LiBimAviMp9: haha
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: we guna DRINK
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: lol...yea dat toO.
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: n SteVen EaGLeTon guna be dere to0
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: we guna have him bring sum weeds n mary J..
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: n Ivan ish guna bring sum BONGs :-D
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: n dis party guna be off da h00k!
LiBimAviMp9: hahah
LiBimAviMp9: oF kORse
LiBimAviMp9: yEhs yEhs
LiBimAviMp9: u gETting uR cAR!
LiBimAviMp9: whOo hOo
LiBimAviMp9: iM haPpie fOR yOo
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: =D
LiL pRecHuZ wuN: n wen i get mah car..imma get Jeff to soup it up for me =)

---I went to Multi-Cultural Fair on Saturday.It was fuuuN! But I didnt even get t0 see Ron =/ He sed he went early in da n00n...i guess dats probly why I didnt get t0 see him cuz I went hekka late round' 3ish.At first I was dere with Pat,Nikki,Teng,Nhi,AJ n da gang..den Nhi n I left to get food at Micky D's...n guess wh0 I see walk in?.....DAT!....=D Yeash Yeash..Dat Kim..it was s0 g00d t0 see him agen =) He was dere wit DanG n awl his homeboiz..so it was Me,Nhi,Champa,Dat,DanG n dere homiez.We awl ate t0gether..we jus catch up on g00d tymes.N daMn we awl laugh ALOT...i cracked up s00 much..havnt had a great tyme lyke dat in a long tyme..Ish g00d to catch up wit OL'homiez =) I did had a great tyme..espeacially wit awl dez guys 'HoLLerin' every where I go wit mah frenz.lol...geeez.Derez dis 2 g00d lukkin guys starin..den came ovah n was lyke 'oOoh hELLo..whats yoUr name? =P n wun of dem was lyke 'y0u g0t a boyfriend?' I sed 'nO' n he smiled awl big..seemed shock..n sed 'oOh ReeLy?how can sumwun lyke YOU not have a boyfriend' I sed 'cuz I dooNt' n he sed 'Riiight..you aRe TaKen huh..or if not den you probly jus interested in sumwun' I was lyke 'yes..actually i am' n da guy sed 'sOo whos da LuCky guY?' n i replied 'Steven Eagleton' wit a big ass grin on mah face =D heheh awl mah frenz were laughing.We awl talked to dem 2 guys.MahN...i met A Lot of PPL. 0oH n dis azn guy was wit his frenz n wen dey passed by me n mah frenz..he grabbed mah hand and was lyke ''OoOh heLLo..wuts y0ur name'' den awl mah frenz laugh n was lyke 'DammMMn LiLY..lets jus g0...yer havin t00 much fun..' hahah but yea aLot of meeting new ppL...a Lot of Flirtation was goin on t00 =D

------------as for today...awl I have to say is....
STEVEN IsH h0TT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D

2003-04-17T22:52:00.000-07:00
OTown - All Or Nothing
You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight someone who isnt even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you I dont care if thats not fair
cuz I want it all or nothing at all
theres nowhere left to fall
when you reach the bottom its now or never
Is it all or are we just friends?
is this how it ends?
with a simple telephone call
you leave me here with nothing at all
there are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I dont show it
then theres times you look at me as thought I'm all that you could see
dont make me promises baby you never did know how to keep them well
I had the rest of you now I want the best of you it's time to show and tell
cuz you and I could lose it all if you've got no more room
nowhere inside for me in your life

HaPPY x n i k: KhUX ouR fiRst LoVE IS alWays tHE LoVE tHAt We nOt goNnA foRgEt
LiL Prechuz Wun: yep
HaPPY x n i k: anD i nOe u stiLL FoR JoN..BUt tHEn u NEed soMEoNE hERE tO BE wiTh u..anD nOt soMEoNE FaR aWay
HaPPY x n i k: thiNgs hApPEns foR a ReAsOns..
LiL Prechuz Wun: =(
LiL Prechuz Wun: but deep in my heart i still love him n i still cant let him go
HaPPY x n i k: yEh buT soONEr OR LaTEr.. u GoNNA ReaLizE tHat iF HE's THE onE foR u in tHE fuTURe, HE's goNna coME bacK foR u
HaPPY x n i k: i'M nOt goNNA saY uR goNna RegReTIt..i JUSt waNt u to thiNK
HaPPY x n i k: kHuX i DuN Want u to FeEl LiKe u Felt bEfoRe..LiKe aLL hURt anD cryINg
HaPPY x n i k: bUt u gotta thiNK befoRe MAkINg a chOice
LiL Prechuz Wun: i told him i still love him
LiL Prechuz Wun: n still wanna be with him
HaPPY x n i k: i HoPe u MakE tHE riGHt deciSioN tHAt wiLl GEt u hapPy LatEr oN
HaPPY x n i k: but tHEn thiNK 2 Ways
HaPPY x n i k: i HATE sEeiNg yOu LiKe thiS..aLl coNFusiNg anD scarEd
LiL Prechuz Wun: i hate feelin lyke this too
LiL Prechuz Wun: worst feeling..its jus too much
HaPPY x n i k: anD u DuN NEed iT

---dammit its reely hard to decribe how I'm feelin ryyte now...I'm jus reely hurt =/ I spent today jus thinkin' a lot a lot...bout things..awl da good n bad memories.Da good memories jus made me smile N da bad made me cry.I miss everything soOo damn much! It hurts soO fuckin bad maNh..wutta I do to deserve allah dis shiet.I mean shiet man..jus sooo much pain.I remember homecoming night..da best night ever..yea it was fun.I member wen he kissed me on da cheek while we were slow dancing to
Musiq - Half Crazy =D Den I thot bacc on our furst date..we watched 8 Mile...mahn i love dat movie..Eminem was HoTT =D!! ..N how can I forget wen we watched Half Past Dead with Ja Rule...I had mah first kiss n mah lil babee jonathan 'i love you' 'i love you (frum build a bear). I remember wen I showed how much I reely cared wen we watched Harry Potter and the Chambers 0f Secrets..altho I wasnt payin' dat much attention to da 3 hour long movie =P cuz I couldnt find a ride to da movie n kept doubting dat i was even guna be out dat night..but i still tried n tried to find a ride to take me to mission n be wit mah baby...stayed till lyke 12:30 midnight mahN.AHHH da memories..i jus keep smiling..den cried cuz itz awl jus memories n i cant relive it awl wun last time =(
I guess I never realize how much I reely do love you..untill I let you go.

2003-04-15T18:56:00.000-07:00
112 - Someone To Hold
every now and then I get to wondering
are you with someone else or could you be by yourself
I'm going crazy cuz I miss my baby

It hurts so fuckin much! da pain is killin' me. It coulda been 5 months by now =/ but no0o..he's better off bein' happy wit sumwun else =( We were so fuckin happy with each other..we were so much in love..we meant everything to wun another n yet we let each other go.Why is it dat I'm sittin here in complete despair ever since you up n leave me n I'm still stuck wit da same ol' feeling? Dammit was I da onlee wun dat was in love with US? I never thot dat dis would happen wen we were 2gether.Awl my frenz tell me to jus accept da fact dat its 0ver.You choose your path and I choose mine. But ders jus wun thing I want you to know.. I didnt jus lose my first boyfriend..I lost da love of my life..my best friend..my EVERYTHING.. n I kant get chu back. I jus wish dat you know wut I'm goin thru ryyte now..I wish u could jus put yourself in my shoes and know how I felt.I am goin thru s0 much pain..awl cuz of you. I love you more than anything..n I know dat she aint never guna be lyke me.Dats wut u sed ryyte? U sed dat no wun can ever replace me..n how u never loved anywun da way u love me.Jus know dat I styll remember wut chu sed n i believed it.I know for a mutha fuckin fact dat she aint guna love you lyke I did.Dis fruitcake aint guna put up wit everything dat you did to me.She aint guna put up wit awl da BS dat I had to go thru.She wont fuckin care dat much for you. She wont fuckin die for you.0nlee I would...I love you more than you'll ever know..beyond any words can say..I even loved you more than I loved myself. I loved you more than I love my own self! Dat chickenhead can fuckin choke on a cock for awl I care. She stole my everything from me....but jus know dat you dont mean as much to her as you mean to me.Jus tell me whos guna lukk at you n love you for da person you are? Who is guna be dere with you wen you need dem? Whos' guna understand dat sumtymes u can take things too far?? Who is guna love you da way I love you?? Is dis pigeon guna talk things out with you n make shure everything is alryyte? Cuz aint no bitch guna do da things I did.Aint no otha bitch guna kiss da way I kiss.No otha bitch guna love you da way I do.Aint no bitch guna be da FOOL for you.Cuz I was.Anytyme u needed love i was ryyte dere for you.Dere was absolutely nuttin dat I would not do for you.Anything dat you always wanted I gave it to you.I fuckin gave up everything for you. So go ahead n be happy wit dis knocka..jus remember dat da sack-chaser aint guna love you da way I love you.

2003-04-14T23:20:00.000-07:00
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: i mEan hE isH hEre cLosE to yOo
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: oF kORsE u ThiNK oF him
LiL Prechuz Wun: i jus wanna go bacc to da way things use to be
LiL Prechuz Wun: nikki's ryyte
LiL Prechuz Wun: i do regret it.
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: doNt go bAck to iT
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: wat been done ish done
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: u cant take it back
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: u weRe dOin jUSs fi0ne...
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: oNcE u saW him with hEr
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: u sTaRted to go back to It
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: aND RegRet it
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: Go on with uR lifE
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: bE haPPie fOR him
xbAbEeSwTpAtx: iTs haRd n HurTz
LiL Prechuz Wun: i still love him

2003-04-12T22:45:00.000-07:00
A1 - I'll Take The Tears

dont speak,seal your lips
please dont say a word maybe I wont remember the words I have not heard
I see that you're in love, I know its not with me
but I dont want the truth to haunt my memory
Its never too late to relight the fire
Its never stopped burning for me
the flame it never died inside of me
how is it now that I can tell you I love you
how is it only now that its too late
what can I do? the love that we had is torn in two
so you take the smiles from all of our years
I'll take the tears
I sit and reminisce of times that we once shared
you gave me more than love but never thought I cared
my feelings were all for you although it didnt show
I only told you on the day you let me to go
now I realize that you're no longer mine
but I'm hoping that the pain will ease in time
although you're leaving I wont say goodbye
because I know you're here with me inside

-damn i'm feelin' dat song.

2003-04-11T23:05:00.000-07:00
DayAMM..wutta l0ng day.damn I fuckin hate ms.murrell.Lyke Ivan sez 'shes a bitch'! damn fucc..she kalled mah dad yesturday jus cas I didnt go to mah 3rd detention,da wun dat was last month for 30 minutes.Cuz I always come late to her class.N dad got reely mad..he hates gettin kalls frum teachers, he told me to not let n e wun of mah teachers kall agen.DaMn..wutta fucc face! N dis morning she sed if i dont show up for detention she guna havta gimme a referal.Fuckin A...I never gotten a referal.fuckin bitchass..dammit.N E ways..Ron ish in Fresno for da spring break N Ricky ish in Jamaica (das y dey aint in furst period wit me n Chris today..our table was lonely without dem two =(. Hope dey have a safe trip..Have Fun Too.Mahn I wanna be away frum cali for spring break..but shiet i dont think I'm doin n e thing other than da usual which is chillen wit da homiez =D. Welps in 2nd period..we have a SuB =D. N he ish koo..he let us sit n e where we want n we can even listen to our CD players in class. I put on 50 Cent on da loud speaker. Josh keeps messin wit mah fone..shoO i know he wants mah fone..everbody does..cas ish tyte! ooH..i kalled Pat in dat class..she was on her field trip at Belmont..damn lucky aSS!! today we have short classes cas of da muti-cultural fair. In 3rd, we awl were mostly out in da field setting up da stages and sounds. oHH..Tim n I were playn boxin..i knocked him out =D
"y0u want dis"... POW*=P muhaha. ooH u know wut..Bob sed he's guna talk to Steven bout Me..n c whassup.Hahah..dude..ahem..so n e ways 4th period was boring..but das koo no wun reely did n e thing in dat class cas we also had a sub. Ray tried to jack mah fone sO many tymes today..thinkin I dunno dat he got it..how dumb..errr. welps welps - after 4th period I walked wit Ray n Frank to go meet up wit Josh by dance room. Since he told me to meet him dere for da muti cultural fair. Den Pat kalls me..haha wutta dork..I was standin ryte in front of her da whole tyme wiLe we was on da fone..n she didnt notice..doRk =P. damn da performances suxs.We werent even at da field much, Me, Josh n Pat tried to leave campus cas we didnt wanna be at da fair..cas it boring..but damn awl securities were in front..ehh gay.
We awl jus chilled ovah dere at RO da whole hour n a half. I was wit Ivan,Brandon,Josh,Pat n Mr Perez...haha he's hella fuNNy. He was takin pictures of awllah da pplz who tried to ditch.We awl jus wanna get to Ivan's car.Oh yea..den bitchy Murrell came ovah n stayed hangin wit us for awiLe..I'm lyke damn go away bitch.Me n Ivan dont lyke her...yea me n Ivan styLL have detention for 30 minutes after skoo, but shiet I aint guna show up, ish da last day..shOo..n i rather hang out wit mah frenz despues de la escuela(after skoo) hahahah..sigh...N E WAYS...ooOh yeah..Steven,Michael,Kaylen n dem...were hanging out at RO too...dey were playin dominoes..i dont play..ish too boring.damn yenno..Brittney,Ana n Rose came up to me wiLe I was jus chillen wit mah pplz...n dey asks me 'R you still goin out with ________? I sed 'no'...n Brittney sed ''I was jus wonderin cuz..he's HeRe...n he's wit linda." I'm lyke okay??..den I jus told dem dat we aint together no more so it dont matter..n yea..a lotta ppl come up to me today jus to tell me he's was dere. Wutever..well wen Josh n I went bacc to da field to Nikki n Pat...Tung kalled me ovah..haha he was behind me da whole tyme..he wants me to pluck his eyebrows..but later he changed his mind cas he sed 'im going to fucc it up' psshiet..he's jus scurred. Cas imma professional shoO. Wen I told Josh dat I lyke Steven..he was lyke 'ehh da JuniOR?..he was lyke 'eww he fuckin ugly' I'm lyke 'n u judge guys?' ..sho0...he jus jealous cuz Steven's fi0ne as hell =P. After skoo was wit mah best frenz Josh, Nikki n Pat in da parkin lot..chillen a lil..b4 we awl go on our break..hugz n sez goodbye to awl of dem..sniffs sniffs... I didnt even get to say goodbye to Steven..sniffs sniffs *sobs* =/
---since i got home i jus go to sleep...hahah me n Josh were talkin bout wen we get home we jus guna go to sleep cas we get hella tired allah tyme.Den i wake up n went to kicc it at Sou's house...den went to Belmont wit mah cuzin n awl her frenz..N wit mah homie Patrick n Richard.

2003-04-11T22:19:00.000-07:00
Monica - What Hurts The Most

boy its been a long time since the last time I saw you
feels like nothin changed since we’ve been together
I must admit that I go crazy for you and I can see it in your eyes
that theres somethin you want to say to me
cas' usually right now you’ll be holdin' on to me
but instead you tell me things have changed, they’re not the same
and recently you found someone that you
decided to dedicate your whole life to and what we had is bout to be through
baby what hurts the most is letting go
I just want you to know that I love you so
I know things are different now, you’ve gone and settled down
and I thought for sure you’d always wait me
I’ll tell you what hurts the most is I should have took the chance
boy when you came to me and offered me your hand
silly of me I thought I’ll always have your heart
I had the chance to love, how I miss you
I hate that there is someone new comin' in and takin' my place
doin’ the things that we used to do and makin’ love to you
what am I supposed to do its killin’ me ‘cas' I want you
and you should have known my love was true
and theres no one else in this world for me but you
I know that I’m the one to blame for losing you
I really really wish that I could be happy for you
theres just one thing I need you to do
dont you touch her like you used to touch me
dont you love her like you really need me
dont you love her like you used to love me

2003-04-09T20:50:00.000-07:00
Allure - Head Over Heels
Tell me you want my love
Baby please dont deny what your feeling inside
Say you've been thinking of
Holding me,Touching me,Filling my every needs
Head over Heels
it seems so real
It feels like I'm falling in love
I'm lost inside
You're my desire
Oh baby can't you see
I'm falling for you head over heels

Damn skoo was hella boring today.ooOh but in furst period..Ron made me crack up...sooOo much..damn i was laughing reely loud.hahah..dis guy..fuNNy.N E ways, how are Jeff n I doin?...i seriously dont know..he wont talk to me no m0re =/ He sed dat I dont trust him as a fren n awl dat crap... damn if he would jus stop sToNiNg soOo damn much..damn it aint lyke him..das y I was fuckin mad yesturday.I mean fuck..y do guys start smokin crack soo much, dont dey know how much its a turn off for gurls??Even tho u know dat dey aint lyke dat..till dey kant handle dey own probs dey gotta turn to dat butt.Fuckin A....awl mah frenz ask me soo much bout Steven today..'R U guys goin out yet??does he still do dat stuff??Y dont u jus go for it..jus make your move already' Errr dammit..yea Steven's a madd stoner okay.Damn he'll lyke never quit dat shiet...I know him too well.I jus wish I was his anti-drug =/ .Darnnit. N shiet..how can i move on so0 damn quick lyke dat?..lyke Fuck it, you jus loose yer first damn love n lyke u aint never guna love sumwun more than dat! Its freakin hard cas I'm goin thru it ryte now...been goin thru all dat shiet.N Steven jus...he makes me feel different den anywun else, yea he's a stoner n lukk at his gpa..but still..deres sumpthin bout him dat i jus lyke soo much, da fact dat he always makes me smile big =D oh well u jus cant control da person you like =P At lunch...I was wit Josh n Pat..den I caught Jeff goin to da football field to go St0ne.bullshiet.eRrR damn I was fallen asleep in 4th period..i was lyke puttin mah head down awl period..n Veronica was askin meh 'whas wrong'..n she was awl guessing awl dez stuff 'is it your ex...err he's a fawker..dont think bout it so much.' N I was lyke nOo.Den she was lyke 'Is it Jeff...r u guys koo now??' n I sed 'nOo its not Jeff..' (even tho yea i was kinda still mad a lil..) den Robert was lyke 'She's in Love' ...n dat jus made me freakin laugh soO much..n i was lyke shaddup Robert.N Veronica was lyke 'ooOh its dat Steve guy huh...Steven..awww how kyute.' Den I hear dat question agen 'R U guys goin out yet??' Dammn pplz..yeah!... me n Steven R Goin out..geez.He's mah lil secret =P.hahah jk.

2003-04-01T22:23:00.000-08:00
Simple Plan - Worst Day Ever
I feel like
I'm living the worst day
Over and over again
I feel like
I'm living the worst day
I feel like you're gone
And every day is the worst day ever
it's so long
I can't go on

Iono wuts wrong wit me today...but I jus seem so blah.not happy. jus wen i thot i got mah happiness bacc n everything was okay, but I jus dont feel lyke ME today. i jus been thinkin a lot n reminiscing n dwelling on da past =/. I started to break down in 4th..iono i was jus doin mah work in class..den nex thing u know...TeArs =/. I jus kept on thinkin bout him n missing how much i miss him. I mean I was happy in first period..well das a good class n yenno allah mah peeps R in dere.But jus after second I started to feel different.Alryyte well da problem is Steven..iono y i fell awl babyish bout it...but iono...jus sumpthin makin me feel kinda sad cuz of him.Den wen it comes to da end of da day I jus breakdown..realizing how much i miss him..not Steven...but Jon =( Have you guys ever felt like crying for no reason? Or if dere is a reason you jus kant explain it...well dats how I'm feeling rytte now...i am crying my whole damn eyes out n i think i made a river in my room, i'm crying n i don't kno why. i jus have dis urge to jus cry n let out awl my feelings wit my tears. i am having wun of doz feelings dat you kant reely explain n if you try to it doesn't come out how you want it so you just keep it to yourself. I jus kept to myself da whole day..usually i'd jus talk to mah frenz bout it makin me feel better. I'd run to Pat, David, Ron, Jeff...but iono i jus wanted to keep to myself for wunce, n yea its worst dat way..i duno y i did. Ron was da onlee person who made mah day, he made me smile big wen i was down. But den agen at da end I started to feel sad agen.I keep it to myself n it jus burst n I feel lyke I dont kno wut to do n e mor n jus breakdown. I reely lyke Steven..but I'm jus so scared of gettin hurt agen. N I think it'll happen lyke dat if I keep lyking him. I'm beginning to think wut Nikki sed ish true, "You're guna regret it." N das how I'm feeling..maybe she's ryyte..maybe I shouldnt done wut I had. But I jus followed mah heart......I jus kant stand da distance between us no more..n I hate fighting n hurting n crying so much.But damn I never felt DAT MUCH LOVE b4 in mah Lyfe.Awl I have left are jus memories of Us.

2003-03-31T19:45:00.000-08:00
Mya - Movin On
I'm so confused
I don't know what to do
But I gotta be a woman
I gotta get over you
On (Movin on)
On (movin on-on)
Oh-on
I'll be movin on

Ahhh Damn im gettin sick agen =/ Dammit Ron!! blah..welps..en la clase de espanol we awl had a prueba(quiz)..n i got a 6/9.N E wayz Ricky ish a dork..he wont stop throwing things at me..gosh jus lyke Steven. Hahah guys r dorks. Alex called me today n we talked..havnt talked in a long tyme..n dude he's funny..kant stop laughin on da fone..geez..him n Kevin mahn..hahah.Dorks =P. OoOoh i dyed mah hair yesturday..ish darker now..es morena, mah hair ish dark brown,no more highlights. Welps damn..Pat ish a fawken biter mahn!! ErrR i was guna buy new black Jansport...but shiet..err she got it furst. I sed I was guna get it =/ !!! So me n Steven kan match shiet=D..heheh. but watever..dat damn biter! OooH yea..shiet you know wat?? Steven's frenz R guna tell Steven sumpthin =/ Dammit dey probly already did. Cas dey was lyke 'OooOh imma tell Steven you lyke him..we guna hook you two up' I know dey already told him at lunch..shootness..imma be awl blushy tomorrow. Hahah damn Ron was lyke 'Damn u lyke a Stoner now' hahah shoo..Steven ish not a Stoner...... well aight he is a Stoner, but oh well u kant kontrol who u lyke ryyte ? =P

2003-03-30T17:16:00.000-08:00
Tyrese - How You Gonna Act Like That
How you gonna up and leave me now
How you gonna act like that
How you gonna change it up, we just finished makin' up
How you gonna act like thatI never thought that lovin' you would hurt (I did everything to make it work)
you should have told me you had second thoughts
Now I'm thinkin' you and me was a mistake (But then it hits me and I'm missin' all the love we made)
I know that we've been goin' through some things (But the sun is always shinin' even when it rains)
You know I'm willin' to do anything Just to keep you in my heart
I messed around and gave up everything
I thought we'd never part (Yes, I did, baby)
I was a player and made the choice to give my heart to you
And I gotta keep it that way

sLiMzWoRLd: i love you babe... n i do anything for you.
sLiMzWoRLd: ur more important than any of that
sLiMzWoRLd: i hate being apart from u
LiL pReChUzWuN: i hate it too
LiL pReChUzWuN: n i reely don want u to go away
sLiMzWoRLd: i really wanna take u wit me
sLiMzWoRLd: i love you...
sLiMzWoRLd: juss... i promise imma be witchu always babe...
sLiMzWoRLd: i told u.. i promise we gonna be together..
sLiMzWoRLd: i dont wanna find nobody else.
sLiMzWoRLd: i dont want nobdy else
sLiMzWoRLd: n im not gonna be with nobody else.
sLiMzWoRLd: i want YOU. only you.
sLiMzWoRLd: i mean when i think bout it awl.. i can honestly truely say i love you n i dont wanna be with no body else.
LiL pReChUzWuN: you mean a lot to me N i luv you babe
sLiMzWoRLd: i love you.. soo much... n i hope u know that u mean sooo much to me.. i don wanna be withoutchu ever.. i WONT be without you ever..
sLiMzWoRLd: im not gonna let anything happen to us
sLiMzWoRLd: we gonna be okay.. n we gonna be together always.
LiL pReChUzWuN: how long r u guna b in georgia?
sLiMzWoRLd: just going to be in GA til i get mah degree in graphic design... which should only take 6 months or so
LiL pReChUzWuN: I LoVe You
slimzworld: i love you. and i hope u kno that u ARE mah future. even if im across the country fer a few month or watever, u are still in mah life... u are mah future, u are mah rite now, ur mah everythin babe... and part the reason i had no ride today, cas family mad at eachother, and sheit.... and im sorry i wasnt there witchu. and i wanna spend every minute i can witchu before i go... cas it look like i got no choice anymore, family so piss and mom and... jess i love you. and i never want to lose you. i love you. and it killing me... the fear of losin you.
sLiMzWoRLd: aye... u know i love you rite? and that no matter where i am... i still do love you and no matter what u are mah future and present rite?
LiL pReChUzWuN: yeash.
sLiMzWoRLd: and u got what i said bout mah ticket roite?
LiL pReChUzWuN: no
sLiMzWoRLd: we was fighting...
sLiMzWoRLd: me and mah mom and mah sister.
sLiMzWoRLd: last night and today.
sLiMzWoRLd: that why i didnt go to school. didnt have a ride
sLiMzWoRLd: cas we was all mad.
LiL pReChUzWuN: u ayyte beb
LiL pReChUzWuN: ?
sLiMzWoRLd: and we was fighting cas i said that i dont wanna go.
sLiMzWoRLd: and they asks why... and stuff and i said cas i love her and they knew i was talking boutchu cas yeah
sLiMzWoRLd: and i dont want to go .
sLiMzWoRLd: i want to be with you.
sLiMzWoRLd: i never thought we would be like this, yeah i crushed and awl but didnt think u would ever actually be with me. i mean look at how elena says it... nobody thought u would. and i never thought id love... and that you would love me back. and i never knew how much u meant to me... til i actually had you... and now it like, i dont want to be away.
sLiMzWoRLd: n i love you. geez i just wish u was here rite now so i can hold u and just yeah. i love you.
LiL pReChUzWuN: damnn y u gotta b way over dere for ?
sLiMz WoRLd: cas dis way when im way over der holdin u in mah arms... we wont take it awl fer granted and lose dat.
sLiMz WoRLd: i wanna just holdchu sooo tyte n not let go babe...
sLiMz WoRLd: always lay der in bed thinkin bout how much i miss u
sLiMz WoRLd: n it hard... but i know it gon' be worth it when we are together cas it gon' mean that much more to us.
sLiMz WoRLd: n u know what babe... dis guy gonna make it awl upto you, n make u his wifey n give u awl his love n heart for always.
sLiMz WoRLd: and i wanna make sure u know u mah wun and only.
sLiMz WoRLd: so u gon marry me roite babe?
LiL pReChUzWuN: yeash
LiL pReChUzWuN: i love you
LiL pReChUzWuN: u kno dat rite?
sLiMzWoRLd: yeah i do.. i was scared for a while but now i know mah fears are nothin compared to what we gots.
sLiMzWoRLd: everything gonna be okay babe. i promise.
sLiMzWoRLd: i love you soooo much babe.
LiL pReChUzWuN: i love you so much too
sLiMzWoRLd: im not gonna give up babe.
sLiMzWoRLd: i just so scared, and i know im never gonna take ur love for granted.
sLiMzWoRLd: linda: who knows maybe she's the one your suppose to be with
linda: like fate brought you guys together
sLiMzWoRLd: id never give you up. id never let us be apart. i love you so much,
sLiMzWoRLd: and imma make u mah wifey. and we gonna always be together.
sLiMzWoRLd: will u marry me babe?
sLiMzWoRLd: :-D
LiL pReChUzWuN: yeash yeash
sLiMzWoRLd: i promise imma come back to you babe.

Damn How I Miss Allah Dat So Much... =/

2003-03-27T17:45:00.000-08:00
Blaque - Bring It All To Me
Oh baby, bring it all to me
But I don't need no fancy cars or diamond rings
Oh baby, bring it all to me
Gimme your time, your love, your space, your energy
Baby, what's the deal? Would I be too forward if
I told you how I feel That's just the way I do my thang
I'm so for real
Oh, I'll put my pride to the side
Just to tell you how good you make me feel inside
There's not a single question That we can't make this right
Cause it's you I need every day and night

Wuts happened in da past few months have jus been shitty n I've been feelin so emotionaL.But now awl dat has finally changed.Cas things R gettin bacc to da way it was b4.Everything ish coming bacc to me in one piece again.I mean mah whole lyfe was tumbling down n i lost soOo much,mah world been krashed n I find mahself so angry n sad.But things r finally gettin bacc to da way it was.Mah momie ish feelin so much better n jus got up today!(she's been very sick wit dis illness). aLLah mah frenz and I are bacc n nuttin will ever split us apart agen...imma make shure of it dis tyme! itz da Class of 05 Shiet! mah homie gee..Lan ish goin out wit Eric now.AwwWw Soo0o kyute!me n mah FamiEz r bonding a lot mor!n o0o0h...imma auntie now!!shiet im happie.mah neice Sharon ish 4 days old...she sOOo kyute!ooh n Sherri ish guna b living wit me now.Das guna B tyte cas shes lyke da sista i neva had.Grampa ish making a room for sherri n sharon at mah house.dey building it ryyte now..n i helped out too =D Imma c Sharon tomorro.Sh0o she ish Korean half Lao/Thai..damn das a good mix!
Sko0 was great!But damn Ron ish gettin me sick.BLAH!(BORA BORA)..haha damn Chris got me sayn dat now..BORA BORA!! In 3rd..Josh n Kacey was hanging up da banners up for da Regionals Airbands tomorro and saturday night... I helped out too! =P..welps at lunch..Jonathan made me buy a soda frum him,he onLee had da Dew..shoot he sold da vanilla koke.ERR.fresh cold soda toO,shoot da komet korner dont even got dat..dey beverages r warm.but chea...c i helped out.After skoo I was wit Michael n Kaylen fer awile..n dey keep talkin to me bout Steven.Michael sez 'Steven lykes y0u...he wants to go out wit y0u' Hahah damn.ALL of mah frenz tryin to hook us up...even his frenz too.geez ppl dez days..ahhah!Well Michael's mah homeboi n him n Steven r lyke best buds shoot...but damn..Damn smokeholics.shoo awl Steven eva talk bout ish drugs =/ But wutever...its wat dey choose to do.heeey...dey guna b Seniors nex year..ohh shiet!n Imma b a Junior.i told Steven n Michael dat dey betta get der diploma.Den Mike sez 'don worry i wont drop out' im lyke 'errr' das not even funny.N Steven keep laughin' bout it.But chea i kno dey'll graduate =P.C I have faith in ppl =) .damn y dey gotta b class of 04..y not 05!!haha sh00.I want dem to graduate wit ME.damn Juniors...damn class of 04..psssh, anyways.Well im reely startin to be happie again..no more emotions..jus reely happie dat i got mah Lyfe bacc n everythings aLryte now..even tho i feel lyke a part of me ish missing...n even if it means i Lost one thing in mah lyfe dat meant aLot to me.As long as i got mah lyfe bacc..dat matters so much.I have no regrets.